Healing The Masculine Soul

Jesus; Warehouse Janitor

2009-10-07T16:56:00.001-07:00

One thing that has changed for me in this last year is my focus. Typically we tend to focus on behavior we want changed without really looking at the root symptom. Most teachings on pornography for example, only scratch the surface of a much deeper problem. But these problems tend to live in areas of the male psyche, behind a door that says "do not open".
Men are waffles, women are spaghetti. If you have never heard this saying before it refers to how with women, everything is connected, like one long spaghetti noodle on a plate. Men however, have many compartments like a waffle, all segmented and not really connected. This is no flaw in design, it is what allows us to go to war when the time comes to protect those we love. We are able to take the fear that would disable us and shove it into one of those compartments and walk onto the battlefield. I believe that we as men have taken this principle and applied it to everything.
I had many containers, and I am willing to bet most men do. We don't even realize how many there are or that we have them. For many men, containers are a source of comfort, nothing ever really has to get dealt with to continue on with life. But what kind of life is that?
I had trouble containing my containers, especially after my first real confrontation with with the reality and finding out that I wasn't the perfect husband. My containers started to overflow with the grief I had inside, and the confusion as to who I was. My wife couldn't answer the questions, no female can bestow masculinity to a man, I needed another man.
As funny as it sounds, as much as most men are unaware that they even have these containers, they know that they don't want to start cracking them open. Fathers (myself included) have helped their sons build their very first container when we tell our boys that men don't cry. I know of men that haven't shed a tear since that day.
Containers can hold a a whole host of ugliness, the more that a man has had to face in a his years on this planet, the bigger the pile if undealt with. The more emotionally bankrupt the man, the more containers he is unaware of.
I have pictured what my container "warehouse" looked like when I first started my journey, hopefully this will shed some light into the male psyche.
Imagine a large warehouse, and industrial warehouse. This warehouse has many large shelves that can only be reached with a forklift. The isles are endless, the floors are swept clean. And on each shelf sits 3 to 4 containers. The warehouse is full, and each container is placed chronologically after the other as the pains of life happened. Got the mental picture? Good.
Now have a massive earthquake hit that warehouse so that all of the containers fall off of their shelves are are sitting piled on the floor. This I believe is an accurate picture. Some of the worst hurts are somewhere underneath everything else. Some containers have cracked and are leaking their contents out into everyday life, tainting all that we say or do.
My warehouse is looking very organized these days, most of the containers on their shelves, very few new ones are coming in and a large number of containers from my past have been emptied and swept clean and thrown into the fire. I hired a janitor.
I was a Christian for a long time before I realized that Jesus could help me with my warehouse. Not only could he help, but he wanted to. The sacrifice on my part was to trust him with the key. We now go through the containers together, little by little, one by one. One day my warehouse will be very empty.

The Decline of Masculinity - David Menzies

2009-07-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

To paraphrase the old Molson Canadian tagline: I AM ... an idiot.

You read it right: I’m an incompetent goof. A pathetic primate who can barely function in our oh-so-complicated world.

Why the lowly self-assessment? No, I didn’t invest in Bre-X. Nor do I drive an Aztek. Rather, it’s the advertising industry that’s convinced me I’m a loser due to one glaring prerequisite: my gender.

For the last several months, I’ve taken note of several radio and TV ads whenever there was a script depicting two people of different genders. In every spot except one, men were portrayed as imbeciles.

Even if the script established the male character as a successful business owner, he still came across like the classic Phil Hartman character, Unfrozen Cave Man Lawyer from Saturday Night Live. (The defrosted Neanderthal would continually note that the attributes of today’s world – “flashing neon signs” and “fast-moving cars” – would “frighten and confuse” him.)

In today’ advertising world, unfrozen cave men abound.

In a Toyota spot, a male Toyota owner is depicted as being virtually brain damaged when he addresses a female Toyota customer service clerk. He can’t remember (or doesn’t know) what needs to be serviced on his car. He doesn’t even know what he wants to drink. Thank goodness for the know-it-all service rep who tells him what needs to be done to remedy his motor (without even popping the hood). She also informs him he’s experiencing a craving for caffeine.

A Rogers Wireless spot promoting the BlackBerry Curve depicts a male commuter admiring the BlackBerry of a female. He mentions he plans on getting such a device himself one day.

“I was set up in minutes,” the woman explains.

“... In ... minutes ...?” says the fellow in a tone that suggests he’s contemplating quantum physics.

A CIBC ad establishes “Tom” as a successful businessman. Along comes a female customer who’s not in Tom’s line of business but, naturally, is an expert when it comes to Tom’s trade. She tells him to install a CIBC e-commerce solution in a tone reminiscent of how a principal would address a kindergarten student. Tom’s response: “They [CIBC] can put in an online ordering system?” Naturally, it is uttered with child-like wonderment.

Likewise, a Royal Bank spot features a successful male salon owner who apparently knows nothing about the salon business (from e-commerce to ambient music.) Naturally, a condescending female customer educates the poor doofus.

Of note, one man recently had enough of the male-bashing. Peter Regan, a single parent in Calgary, filed a complaint with Advertising Standards Canada after he took exception to a Rona ad. The spot depicts a female Rona employee dealing with a female customer who laments that her husband never helps around the house. The clerk responds: “That's OK. They [husbands] are all like that.”

In August, the ASC decided the commercial indeed contravened regulations and “disparaged men and/or married men.” Rona was told to remove or alter the ad.

I doubt I’d ever be inclined to complain to a regulatory body about how a group was being depicted in an advertisement. If one is truly offended by such creative, isn’t it more meaningful to vote with one’s wallet – i.e., by patronizing the competitors?

Even so, the question arises: what is the unspoken strategy of having men cast as dimwits? It cannot be random chance. In fact, it’s statistically impossible that in 99% of scripts, the male is the one who is dazed and confused while the woman (or child) is portrayed as an oracle of wisdom.

My hunch: when it comes to getting slagged men tend to take it, well, like a man. Aside from the Rona complainer, men tend to be stoic and silent about such slights. And there’s never been a male equivalent of MediaWatch, a cabal of taxpayer-funded humorous harpies whose mission statement is to rant about how ads depict women and girls.

York University marketing professor Alan Middleton agrees with my thesis. And he adds another noteworthy point: since women in many households control the purse strings, ad agencies figure it’s not a prudent idea to upset the individual who is most likely to be making the purchase. Thus, if the script calls for a dolt, it’s a no-brainer to the man will play the fool.

Indeed, as long as complainers such as Peter Regan remain the exception as opposed to the rule, expect men to be depicted as dumbbells in advertising for decades to come. But then again, what do I know?

In The Light

2009-03-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

I was just in the washroom....yeah I am sure you wanted to know that. As I sat pondering the moments of life that one ponders as they sit on the porcelain throne, I looked up at the clock. The clock was ticking away as it normally does, but the time was way off. As I watched a bit longer I noticed that even though the clock was ticking, the second hand was not actually moving, it was just quivered with each tick. Powerless to move.
There are many metaphors that I see in this which reflect where I am in life. The clock is ticking, so if a person doesn't look closely, they would think it was working properly, if the glance was brief enough they would assume that whatever time the clock was displaying was correct and and it could lead a person astray.
I am grieved by how my God is displayed in my life, for I am full of faults. I profess my love for the God who redeemed my life, but fall short in reflecting His love to a world that is searching......for something....for Him.
My heart is to be like the moon, unlike the sun, the moon has no power on its own to create light. It can only reflect the light of the true source of light in our solar system, the sun. Many times the world gets in the way and you can only see a sliver of that light, but when there is nothing blocking the light it can shine so brightly that we can see where we are going and the oceans tides are affected.
God is that light, the true source. The more I let Him into my life and let Him change me the better I can reflect His light. The world and all of its temptations cannot block the light.

The disease of self runs through my blood
Its a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

DCTalk

Just be....

2009-02-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

This is my latest challenge, I really don't know what this looks like. All my life I have struggled with significance, I have always wanted to know I am unique, that I have something special. But I have never thought that just me, alone am significant. This has manifested in a desire for leadership and position. I took a lot of pride in the fact that at age 24 I was a business owner. I did an awesome job of making my business look good, have a professional appearance. I designed a great logo, the sharpest looking business cards, professional invoicing, nice looking company vehicle. The list goes on and on.
I was also very involved in my hobby of radio control cars, there were no clubs in the area so I started one. I loved being the president, we got a great looking website and logo, started making appearances in various shows around town.
I don't think I am being conceited when I say I did a really great job of making things look really good.
These things were a reflection of what was going on inside of me. On the outside I was a really nice guy, tamed if you will. I was no threat to anybody and people inherently trusted me. But there was no substance.
With my business there was no way I could have even gotten it off the ground had it not been for the financial support of my parents. My Mom loaned me money that was to be used for supporting my family so that I could keep operating capital in the bank. I would often use money in my account to buy myself new toys, RC's, vintage toys for my collection, computer games or technological gadgets. All to satisfy my flesh. My Dad owned the building I had my company in and I shared space with him. There is no way, that had I needed to pay rent that my company could have survived five years.
My RC club did okay, I think mostly because nobody else wanted to start another. There was a lot of infighting in the club, a core group of 3 or 4 that worked hard so that the others could have fun. But eventually they burned out and started complaining why nobody else was helping. I had a few critics that used the anonymity of our club's website to take shots at me, something that cut me to my core. Eventually when the going got too tough I stepped down and let somebody else take to blows.
In both cases when the rubber met the road there was no substance. Its like had I written a book, it would be a 500 page novel with the best looking cover and the catchiest title. But the pages would be blank. Had I been a block of gold thrown into the smelter for the impurities to be burned away, there would have been nothing left. Jesus was speaking of me in Matthew 23:27 when he said "What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity."
How do I learn to just be. To have the confidence that the way I am IS the way God me? That I am valuable without being able to offer you something. That I am important without a label or title. I can tell you right now, I don't know these things.

Matthew West - The Motions

2009-02-17T17:31:00.000-08:00

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Cardboard Testimonies

2009-02-14T09:27:00.000-08:00

Wow, all I can say is powerful.

Those Sneaky Agreements - John Eldredge

2009-02-06T20:37:00.000-08:00

So, Stasi and I have been writing a book together for the past many months. (It’s on marriage). Through the holidays I was pretty much chained to the computer, trying to get it done by January 15. I took Christmas Eve and day off, and New Years day (which is my son Blaine’s birthday), but the rest of the time it was write, write, write. I felt like I barely saw the holidays.

Now, I love writing. Of all the things I do, I enjoy it the most and I think it might be where I shine best. But I noticed that my heart was getting heavy when I woke up in the morning; I found my energy to write had slipped away.

I was sitting at my desk, feeling blah. But instead of just muscling through the malaise, forcing myself to write, I stopped and asked God, “Lord, have I made some agreements here about this book?”

Bam.

Right away I could sense the Spirit revealing some things to me. “That dam# book” was one of them; not said in malice or cursing, but more in the spirit of resignation, “Well, I’ve got to get back to that dam# book.” Another agreement was, “I don’t really enjoy this.” A third was, “I don’t really like the subject of marriage; I wish I was writing on something else.” NONE of these were true. But they had snuck in, over time, and I had very subtly made an agreement with them.

Sneaky. Very sneaky.

Knowing how damaging agreements can be, knowing how they pin our hearts down and give the enemy a place to work in our lives, I stopped and broke them. Each of them. Out loud. “I do like this; I love writing. I do care about marriage; I reject that agreement” and so on.

The effect was almost instantaneous. In but a few moments, my heart was light, I was looking forward to the day, my inspiration for writing returned.

Take agreements seriously, dear friends. Ask God to reveal to you the ones you’ve been making. Sometimes the “revealing” will come when you make the agreement again, you catch yourself saying it out loud and you realize, “Wow – that’s an agreement.” Sometimes it’s something that plays “in your head,” in your thought life. Sometimes the Lord will speak to you what it is, or show you the topic you’ve got to look at. However it comes, he will show you.

Then, break them. It’ll do you a great good.

If

2009-02-01T13:26:00.001-08:00

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Goodbye Cowboy

2009-01-27T16:17:00.000-08:00

I have been enthralled by John Eldredge's sequel to "Wild At Heart" called "The Way Of The Wild At Heart". I think I am challenged even more by this book than I was when reading the original. Though there are many things that have peaked my interest, the stages of a man are what I am enjoying most, analyzing where I am at and where I am going.
Though the stages are fluid John contends that you cannot really pass into the next until you have completed it. I realized I have been a cowboy for far to long. There are both positives and negatives in this stage, and God has a balance just like everything else. The cowboy on on the far right of the spectrum becomes Peter Pan, forever a boy, abdicating his responsibilities. I am sure you either know or know of a Peter Pan, these are the guys whose Mom is still buying them groceries and paying their bills. Playing video games all day or engrossed in some sort of hobby or sport that occupies all their time, energy and thoughts. Or maybe they are a thrill seeker always looking for that next great adrenaline high snowboarding in the mountains or bungee jumping off a bridge.
On the far left we have what John refers to as the kitchen window boy. This is the man that because of his own fears or the fears of those closest to him has declared that life is too dangerous and chooses to be a spectator, not taking the risks and or embracing the "danger" that comes naturally to a boy\man. He is generally unfulfilled with his life but it is safe.
When I look back on my life I can see how I have bounced back and forth between the two. Maturity comes when you can balance both and ride the line between. Accepting the "wild side" and embracing it but knowing that it in itself will not bring fulfillment.
I know my wife has waited many years to see the cowboy ride off into the sunset. There is something attractive about the cowboy, his freedom of spirit, his dreams but it is always the desire of the woman that he will pass through this stage and become the warrior she sees inside. The problem is, many of us don't see the warrior ourselves and wallow in "cowboyness" way too long.
The biggest question of the cowboy is "do I have what it takes?". This is where the role of a a father is so important for a boy. Through training and discipleship he has the power like no other in a boys life to bring a boy to a place where he can affirm his son and say "yes, you have what it takes".
That is why Matthew 3:17 chokes me up "and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Basically, God is saying "Go get em boy". If Jesus needed that from his father before starting his ministry, how much more do we earthly men need that affirmation.
I used to grieve, my heart would literally ache when I came to the realization that my father would never bestow this on me. Thank God for Jesus, he came to this world to die for me, and now I am restored to my rightful place, as the son of my true Father God. And He HAS affirmed me, He has said I have what it takes!
There is still a desire in me a blessing from and earthy father, whether biological or spiritual, but I don't need to wait for that any longer. At this point it would be an unexpected blessing, the cherry on top of the whipped cream (if I liked cherries but the example suffices). Goodbye "Cowboy Joe", awaken The Warrior!

The Process Of Manhood

2009-01-24T17:20:00.000-08:00

We have no respect for due process anymore. Our society is making us more and more accustomed to instant gratification so that when we do have to wait, it grinds on our rights and feels wrong. We don't have to wait for our meals or coffee. If I want to get a hold of you I don't have to wait, I can call, email or text you, instantly. There is no waiting to have our photos developed, with digital cameras it is instant. Even our fashion has been affected by our instant world. If you bought a pair of jeans, it typically would come from the factory, perfect material and color. Now, that desired character can be bought, pre-ripped and pre-faded. Character that can be bought and worn immediately.
God is a God of process, if you want and oak tree, you have to start with an acorn. If you want a bible, it is written over the course of a thousand years, penned by a hundred different saints. If you want a man, you need to start with a boy.
The process of becoming a man does not happen instantaneously, it is a time tested formula that needs to age not unlike a good wine. The lie that many of us fall into is that we can get where we want to be without the process.
Ironically, a movie that illustrates the due process of a man very well is a childs cartoon. I have never looked at the movie Lion King this way until it was pointed out to me, but there are actually many "coming of age" stories out there that illustrate stages from boyhood to manhood.
In the Lion King you have a boy...er cub, Simba that is enjoying the ways of a boy, smart pranks, taking risks with out a care in the world. He looks, talks and acts like a boy even to the point of his mommy bathing him. His father loves him, tries to focus the youngsters energy and even saves his life. This stage is simply the "Beloved Son" stage.
Then tragedy strikes, his father is killed and like many men we may know he is all of a sudden he is thrust into another stage of life. This next stage sees him running from all he has known and all he is destined to become and he forgets who he is. He lives life without responsibility and thrives in immaturity. This stage is the "Cowboy" stage.
Next he meets Nala, and falls in love and moves into another stage of life, being called to be the "lover" of a woman. They have a perfect relationship until she realizes that the one she loves is a coward and running from his destiny. Amidst his pain he runs from her and runs into the monkey Rafiki, who is able to lead him back to father to embrace his destiny. Simba as the rightful heir to the throne and he runs back to his homeland to battle his evil uncle and take back the kingship, here for the first time we see him rise to the occasion and we see him as a "The Warrior".
The final stage though less eventful than the others is just as important as it completes the other stages, it adds a period to the sentence of Simba's life, this is the stage of King. We see a new wisdom in his face as he surveys his subjects bowing to him, honor and justice has been restored in the land.
Those are the four stages of manhood, the boy, the cowboy, the warrior and the king.
The more I think about it, if this weren't a cartoon, and the story played out with some macho character I think this movie cold be seen as gritty as any other guy flick like Braveheart or Gladiator.
I think it is interesting to note that a mid-life crisis usually finds a man feeling like he has missed a stage in his life and many times he reverts back to the cowboy stage, often times abdicating his responsibilities but that's for another discussion.

Heart Motivations

2009-01-10T10:52:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a little low the last couple days, God has been downloading a lot of stuff to me and most of it has been very convicting. I am thankful for people who God had placed in my life to point out the things I don't see, but honestly it is really hard to hear sometimes. I have been the "nice guy" for so much of my life, nice guys don't have faults, and they are really humble in a prideful way.
I have become really passionate about a men's ministry tool called "Men's Fraternity", which has really impacted me on my healing journey. Naturally since it has helped me so much I have gotten really passionate about bringing it to other men so that they may enjoy the freedom that I have been given. But there was something that just has not been sitting right with me, and has given me a caution. When promoting the material to others I have felt like a salesman and my spirit really questions that. Should we ever have to try to sell God? Of course not! God living inside of us should impact those around us that they want what we have.
Just yesterday morning I was having breakfast when God just spoke to me while I was text messaging Darcy. When I heard it I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was the truth. The reason I have been so passionate about bringing Men's Fraternity to other men is really speaking of the insecurities inside of me. Deep down my feelings have been that I have nothing to offer myself.
I have never realized until now how dishonoring that is to God, after all it is He who is doing the healing in me, not a program. He is the one who has brought my heart to a point where it can be molded and used for his purposes. God does use programs, organizations and people but He is the one behind it all.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6

It is amazing how you can fool yourself, and tell yourself that I am doing what I am doing for God's glory and not for my own. This is especially true when it comes to doing things in the Church or for some sort of ministry. After all it is for God, how can it be wrong.
I have enough on my plate right now, but I know from past experience that one of the scariest prayer I have prayed was for God to reveal things in my heart that I did not know where there.

Optimus Prime, Father To The Fatherless

2009-01-10T07:29:00.001-08:00

In 1986, the original Prime did something that distinguished him from most other cartoon heroes. He died. He died for freedom, for righteousness”. Scott Brown of Wired Magazine goes on to assert that American culture American males are looking forward to the July 4th release of the “live-action” Transformers movie for “more than galvanic summer thrills or simple nostalgia. They’re looking for redemption, as men.”

“Prime practically parented the latchkey kids of the mid-”80s. He was our Allfather at a time when flesh-and-blood role models were increasingly few and far between”.

I remember scrambling to the television when voice actor Peter Cullen would command the troops to “Roll out!” and my second father with a voice like John Wayne playing Abraham Lincoln would contort into a Mack Truck, rev his engine, and roll his crushing 16-wheels down the heroic highway, barreling over the face of evil with unstoppable resolve. An action figure, Rubik’s cube, and Tonka toy all rolled into one, combined with an unshakable morality and sacrificial love, even the “tech specs” on his packaging in 1984 proclaimed his mission to bring freedom to “all sentient beings”. 23 years later, his steely face is plastered on a poster with a single word: “protect”. It’s no wonder so many boys laid their weekly allowance on the energon altar.

Little did we know it would do more than simply enhance merchandising; it would give a generation something to believe in when dad and the local parish had failed; it would give boys an animated role model. and perhaps even a Cybertronian god.

This is why so many people I know are polarized: excited or exacerbated, feverish or furious, titillated or ticked off, by the Michael Bay directed / Steven Spielberg produced return of Optimus and the bots, transforming into box office revenue on 2007’s Independence Day.

The question on everyone’s lips: “When Papa comes truckin’ home, will we recognize him?”

With a lack of faith in earthly fathers, and lacking a relationship with God, who is our Father, I can see the grand attraction of a robot that is both “Optimal” and in his “Prime”. Intentional or not, there is something godlike built into the stoic Autobot Commander, a titanium trinity imaging a loving Father, a sacrificial Son, and even an indwelling Spirit represented by the “Matrix of Leadership” he carries in his heart (or cab). To a lesser degree, he also represents a rugged, brass-knuckle, rubber-meets-the-road manliness that contemporary culture has slowly leeched from its men. Optimus Prime is a desperate grab for God, daddy, and lost masculinity.

“With bated breath and shaken faith we await the return of our Almighty Rig. Because without Prime, we’re stuck with whiney Spider-boys, metrosexual pirates, and koan-spouting kung-fu Christs in designer sunglasses and unisex clubwear. Because these days, the only real men left are giant robots.”

Just a toy? Purely nostalgia? I don't think so. Truly, there is something going on here that is more than meets the eye.

Even More California Pictures

2009-01-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Disneyland

Bar Barakah - Cermonial Blessing

2008-12-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

My aunt and uncle just loaned me an awesome book on Christian ceremonial blessings, called Bar Barakah, by Craig Hill. With the journey I am on it has really resonated with my spirit because I have longed for something to confirm me as a man. How does any boy or girl in our society know when they have passed that stage of childhood and are on the road to being an adult?
Craig Hill talks in his book about the need for a ceremonial blessing in a person's life, man or woman. He mentions people in their are many people in their 30's, 40's and even 50's that are still under their parents and not feeling like they truly are an adult. He says that at one conference he was at an older man piped up saying that that feeling doesn't go away in your eighties either.
Many societies have some sort of ritual, like the Jewish Bar Mitzvah. In "Healing the Masculine Soul" by Gordon Dalbey he talks about a polygamist African tribe that at the age of maturity calls the boy out of his mothers house and takes him away to learn about the history of his people, learn trades of being a man and fasting with prayer. When the boy comes back to the village he is no longer in his mothers house, his father builds him his own hut and gives him a plot of land to farm. And it isn't until he is well established in these things that he is allowed to see his mother again, at which point he is reintroduced to her as a man, lest she steals away his manhood with her mothering.
What does our society provide to initiate us into manhood? Well, a couple that Dalbey mentions are the ability to drive, buy cigarettes, go to the bar and buy pornographic material. He also mentions join the army and one I thought about was to ability to go to the casino and gamble. So what do these really communicate to those coming of age? Well a generality would be that adulthood means having the ability to do destructive things (other than driving but that would depend on how you drive).
For me it was driving, I longed for that day for years. In fact I started taking my Dad's truck out and driving on back streets and ally's when I was 13 and 14. I just couldn't wait. But like many other things in my life that I had expected to confirm my manhood, this too was empty and left me disappointed.
The Christian blessing ceremony called the Bar Barakah would be a major milestone in the life of the one who is blessed enough to have one. Craig Hill in the book compares it to a marriage ceremony, and ascribes as much importance. He asked those who are married, how do you know you are married? Most people were able to look back on their wedding day as how they knew. He asked if there was ever any doubt that you were ever "really" married and again there was no doubt because of the ceremony. That is the importance of ceremony. Imagine if you were able to look back on your life and remember your Bar Barakah, and know that this was the day you became a man. On this day your father imparted his blessing to you and declared before all your families friends and relatives "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased. Today my son, you are a man, before us and before God". After that day a child's life would be totally different, he would be granted new freedoms and be treated with a new respect.
I fully intend to do this with my son and study this more over the next while, as my son will be coming of age in the next 4 or 5 years. It excites me to think of how great it will be, and how he will have what I never had. He will never have to wonder when and if he really is a man.

More California Pictures

2008-12-27T11:29:00.000-08:00

My sisters Wedding Day and Legoland.

25 Ways To Be A Servant-Leader

2008-12-27T11:17:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from session 21 from Men's Fraternity. I struggle with the majority of these but when I read them my spirit just leaps in agreement that this is my calling in my home.

1. A servant-leader includes his wife in envisioning the future.
2. A servant-leader accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
3. A servant-leader is willing to say “I’m sorry” and “Forgive me” to his family.
4. A servant-leader discusses household responsibilities with his wife and makes sure they are fairly distributed.
5. A servant-leader seeks the consultation of his wife on all major financial decisions.
6. A servant-leader follows through with commitments he has made to his wife.
7. A servant-leader anticipates the different seasons his marriage will pass through.
8. A servant-leader anticipates the different stages his children will pass through.
9. A servant-leader frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
10. A servant-leader provides financially for his family’s basic living expenses.
11. A servant-leader deals with distractions so he can talk with his wife and family.
12. A servant-leader prays with his wife on a regular basis.
13. A servant-leader initiates meaningful family traditions.
14. A servant-leader plans fun outings for the family on a regular basis.
15. A servant-leader takes the time to give his children practical instruction about life, which in turn gives them confidence with their peers.
16. A servant-leader manages the schedule of the home and anticipates any pressure points.
17. A servant-leader keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
18. A servant-leader makes sure he and his wife have drawn up a will and arranged a well-conceived plan for their children in case of death.
19. A servant-leader lets his wife and children into the interior of his life.
20. A servant-leader honors his wife often in public.
21. A servant-leader explains sex to each child in a way that gives them a whole-some perspective.
22. A servant-leader encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
23. A servant-leader takes the lead in establishing with his wife sound, biblically-supportable family values.
24. A servant-leader joins a small group of men who are dedicated to improving their skills as a man, husband, and father.
25. A servant-leader provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.

Califonia Pictures

2008-12-23T19:04:00.000-08:00

Click here:

California and California Coast

Some Great Quotes

2008-12-23T18:37:00.000-08:00

There is a "tear" in the masculine soul-a gaping hole or wound and into this hole demons have fled- demons of insecurity, selfishness and despair. Consequently men do not know who they are as men. Rather they define themselves by what they do, who they know or what they own.

As we bring our insecurity, unforgiven and immature thought/behavior patterns to the Lord honestly and vulnerably, He can free us from our pain and weakness and both lead and empower us to live a new way.

Unfortunately for themselves, their families, and their communities (men) have been satisfied with surface definitions of their masculinity, and have not probed the wonders of their deep masculine selves. Were they to choose to do so, our word would be a much different place, for men would be able once again to truly lead, guide, and direct their own lives and others. They would be able to carry their fair share of the burdens of our human and Christian communities. They would once again be truly able to enjoy their lives, not in selfishness, but in the wonder of contributing their strength for the well being of others.

Ted Dobson
Catholic Priest

Masculinity in a Feminized World

2008-12-07T16:24:00.000-08:00

It is hard to speak about feminism, because from a man's perspective there are some things that are just not right. And I am not sure our feminized society is willing to receive it.
Before we get too far into that we need to acknowledge the wrongs that men inflicted on women, wrongs that gave a need for the feminist movement in the first place. Men crossed barriers when they took a God given role of leadership and used it to dominate and rule over the wife and family with cruelty. If men had treated women with the respect and honor they deserved there likely would not have been a feminist movement. But here is the problem, it seems as though we swung the pendulum too far the other direction.

Was the "Masculinity Movement" ready to abdicate power?

Of course there has not been a "Masculinity Movement" (although at times I think if we keep the direction we are going we will have one) but it did seem like men gave up without a fight. It makes me think of the strategy that the English had to get rid of the Scottish during the time of William Wallace. The right of "prima noctes" was the right of the English lord to bed the bride of a Scotsman on her wedding night, in as such "breeding" them out.
It seems like it only took one generation to turn the tides of the genders, as it was only in the early 60's that feminism really caught on. Feminism in itself is alright and was\is possibly needed, but it goes too far when it crosses the equality line and starts to take war against masculinity and the attributes of manhood.
The battle is not only in the Human Rights tribunals, or in the media. It has creeped into our churches across North America

I read on a blog recently the following:

"I work at helping my children see the manhood of Christ. But, I’m afraid that I don’t get a lot of help in this regard. As I observe the typical church, listening to sermons and Bible studies I often hear only the softer side of Christ presented. As a matter of fact, I recently asked participants in two seminars to list characteristics of Christ. In both the women’s seminar and the men’s seminar, the descriptors were words like, loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, gentle. There were very few words that would have been compelling to men."

Even our churches are infected with it.

"I agree Christ was all of these things. He was the most incredible example of each of these characteristics, but that’s not all he was. He was also the most worthwhile example of courage, tenacity, service, assertiveness, righteousness, leadership, determination and Godliness. These are characteristics that are more likely to get a man’s attention. But we don’t hear about these things often enough from our pulpits or in our Bible studies."

I love to think about Jesus, when he enters the temple and sees the money changers defiling his father's house. I like how in John 2:15 it says Jesus made a whip from some ropes and chased them out. This is such a beautiful picture because Jesus is angry, yet he does not sin. I love picturing my savior running around this temple with fire in his eyes and lashing a whip. That's my man!

In Christina Hoff-Sommers book The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism Is Harming Our Young Men we see how even secular culture is seeing the potential for damage. In a review of the book, the reviewer states:

"This book tells the story of how it has become fashionable to attribute pathology to millions of healthy male children. It is a story of how we are turning against boys and forgetting a simple truth: that the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the world. No one denies that boys’ aggressive tendencies must be checked and channeled in constructive ways. Boys need discipline, respect, and moral guidance. Boys need love and tolerant understanding. They do not need to be pathologized."

And my favorite quote:

"it’s a bad time to be a boy in America. . . ."

I believe that there is an all out war on men (though very subtle), we are trying to smudge the lines in the name of equality but damaging the goods in the process. We need to realized that when a man rises up is not at the expense of a woman. Not only that, but if men do not rise up, there will not be any men left.

Wounded Heros

2008-12-07T13:26:00.000-08:00

It is annoying how your ideals can change when new information is added. I think of how Halloween was such a fun day growing up. I never got into the scariness of it, but I did enjoy dressing up and getting candy. There was never a question as to if you were going to go out trick or treating, that is just what you did. Fast forward to adulthood and you find out its horrible roots, and the spiritual implications and all of a sudden as a Christian father you are wondering if you even want to participate in such a horrible festivity.

Another example somewhat similar would be from the movie "The Matrix". At one point Morpheus confronts Neo with a choice, red pill or blue pill. Red pill everything stays the same and life continues as you know it, blue pill you find out the truth of your existence.

I have had few male role models in my life, and growing up I really had no one that was willing to really invest in me. To spend quality time with me and showing me what it meant to be a man. At some point in my childhood I attached to my Grandpa. Even though I cannot remember him ever really investing into me, one on one, I saw some traits in him that I admired. And at some point I decided I wanted to model my life after his.

As a man I now ask myself what it was that I saw in him. First and foremost I knew he was respected and considered wise by those that were close to him. Second he was a man of faith. While he still had his eyesight he was constantly reading the bible and his daily bread devotional was always on that days date, having been read that very morning. We were always blessed to have him ask the family get-together's meal because when he prayed he prayed as a man who knew the God whom he was praying to. I knew he was a gentle man, soft spoken and slow to anger. Compared to my own father my Grandpa was his opposite, and as painful as it is to admit I was looking for my father's opposite.

Going through my masculine healing journey I have come to some realizations that in many ways caused me to build my foundations on sand. Grandpa was a wonderful man, and I do not want anyone to hear anything other than my admiration for who he was, because I loved him very much. But I have realized the he was not that different than me. He was wounded.

He grew up in an alcoholic home and I can only assume his way of dealing with his alcoholic father was to just get quiet. He married my Grandma and from everything I can gather she was very similar to his own Dad in her harshness and controlling of him. My Mom had recounted many memories from her childhood of my Grandma verbally beating my Grandpa into submission. Grandma also had the gift of gab which took the pressure off Grandpa to be the conversationalist. And so he fell into the background which is where he seem content to be.

Both my Mom and my Uncle have recounted to me how even though Grandpa was there in body during their childhood he wasn't really there emotionally. And in may ways he cheated his children from any emotion, positive or negative. He met the Lord when he was a young man and through his many years of reading the word had much wisdom, but to tap into his wisdom you had to almost force it out of him. I can appreciate how he would have felt beat down by my Grandma, but what was it in him that was okay with his passivity?

It has only been through revelation in my healing that I have been able to recognize the same wound in both of us. I hypothesize that my Grandpa struggled with the question of what it means to be a man as well. I think the fact that I looked to my Grandpa as a masculine role model really communicates how mixed up I was. One of my favorite books (Raising a Modern Day Knight) has the best definition of manhood. author Robert Lewis defines it as:

"....someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward; God's reward".

That is the awesome thing about God, realizing this does not bring resentment. Actually the opposite, I see my Grandpa as a fellow wounded man and it brings me much compassion for him. I wish Grandpa could have been the man God created him to be, I wish he could have been a courageous leader, but regardless I know he was a man after God's heart and I will see him again someday.

The Quest for Authentic Manhood

2008-12-07T12:02:00.000-08:00

This has been a long journey for me. It started when our first son was born, I was newly married and working a minimum wage job. I was confronted with the fact that I could no longer sluff off my responsibilities in life, it was time to be a man. The scary thing was that I had no idea what that meant. I started to make some small steps in my life that I thought would fulfill that need, like going back to school. It helped for a bit, but still left me empty. For three years I tried to ignore the calling while comforting myself with my vices. In 2000 my world came crashing down and I was violently confronted with my ignorance towards this subject. I was left even more confused and heaped a whole pile of hurt on top of it.

I sought out other men, surely I am not the only one feeling like this. The first couple of guys I shared my questions with more or less ran from me as if I were diseased. I now realize that for them, even though they may have appeared to have masculinity cased on the outside really didn't know any more than me. They were just able to fake it better. And they really didn't want to confront something that was that "deep", after all we are men, we are self sufficient. When you are hurting and somebody tells you just to "buck up" and continue on and actually shames you for acknowledging your hurt, that can be really damaging to a man psyche.

Eventually I did find some companions for my journey, but there is a danger in just healing enough that the hurt goes away, but not really dealing with the wound. For me, to deal with the wound I have had to dig deep, deep inside and confront some ugly things that I really don't want to admit are there. I have had to dig back to my childhood and recognize some of the things that were missing and other areas that were overdone. Its sounds like a long process and in some ways it is, but the healing is so worth it. I have dealt with this all my married life and have cheated my wife and children from having the real me. My wife says that deep down she has always been able to see the man I now am, but the "log jams" in my life have stopped me from reaching my potential.

Where do I go next? The journey of healing is really just beginning. A friend encouraged me when I was sharing with him that the healing, freedom and empowerment that I am now experiencing is only a drop in the bucket compared to the total healing, freedom and empowerment that He will bestow on me. Very exciting. I have not arrived, and I am very aware of this, but at least I know where I am going and am embracing the journey.

Update

2008-12-05T14:59:00.000-08:00

Time to blow some dust off my blog. I have desired to blog all the amazing things God is showing me and new things I am learning but it seems that I the time is not quite right.

I have been blessed by many things lately, but mostly by my amazing wife. She is so amazing how she carries the heart of God to me time and time again. God is doing so many amazing things in her and I get to be front row and center.

God has led me to some amazing books, the first was "Healing the Masculine Soul" by Gordon Dalby. This was the perfect book for me, so much insight into myself, my pain and understanding why I have done some of the stupid things I have. I highly recommend this book for any man that is struggling with masculinity, and how to become a man after God's heart.

"Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge has been a huge blessing to me. I find that He doesn't write at quite as technical a level as Gordon Dalbey does, but manages to hit the heart issues even deeper. I find that the two books compliment each other very well and have just kept me trucking down the healing journey.

Men's Fraternity (www.mensfraternity.com) has been a wonderful nugget that God helped me to stumble across while I was looking through podcasts on iTunes. After listening to the first 6 sessions I quickly downloaded the other 18 (24 sessions total in the "Quest for Authentic Manhood"). These audio sessions basically take the same message from the books previously mentioned and expand it into a 24 week journey of healing. I have had to do it individually but the ultimate goal would be to do it in a small group with other men. It has been so healing to me and maybe one day when I am healed I could bring it to the men of our church or even city.

It is amazing how God loves to give us a heart of reconciliation. In 2 Corinthians 5:18 it says "And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him." And so it should come as little surprise to us that when we ask for this, he is ready to give it to us and wants to.
I have felt led to pray for several couples whose marriages are facing a similar similar battle to the one we faced in ours. As I have gone to God praying for these couples he has used that same spirit to walk in bringing unity between my Sister and Dad.

God is good, thats all I can say. He has brought me men to speak into my life, to be accountable to and has given me a boldness I have never experienced in my faith.

As wonderful as that sounds the battles are still raging and the pain of redemption and purification continues.

Update

2008-06-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I am not sure if anybody ever comes here anymore but I wanted to give an update since my last two posts were a bit....well how do you say...depressing. I almost don't want to come back here and remind myself as to how I was feeling at that time. I would say without a doubt that was one of the darkest times of my life.
I am very happy that our lives are seasons and that that season is over. A wise woman once said to me that we all have down times, but we need to get to a point in our lives where down doesn't also mean out.

Life has been pretty even keel for the last month and a half. I have been taking much joy in leading our life group, even though I feel I have a lot to learn as a leader I know that I am called to lead this group and to endure and mature in the process.

I have been privileged to watch Sarah struggle and bounce back as well. I am so thankful that God is leading us down the same path and even though we may hit our own ruts in the road, we are at the same place, together when the road is smooth again. Watching Sarah's journey is like watching a rose in bloom, from bud to flower, getting more beautiful every day. I love her heart and am so blessed that I have her in my life.

I have been getting back into biking, the battle of bulge (my waistline) continues. I have the strangest metabolism, I can bounce from 195 to 185 within a couple days. But the time has come and I need to loose weight. Biking to work with my father in-law has helped tremendously, he keep me motivated and getting up each morning.

I am playing with the idea of joining Tae Kwon Do with Noah, we'll see where that goes.

Much of my time lately has been spent on Facebook. I have really put it down in the past and at one point had signed up and then stopped using it. The second time around here I am really enjoying it. I can't tell you how many friendships I have been able to reconnect with thanks to Facebook, as a result my perspective has changed greatly. Blessings!!

Grieving Caleb

2008-04-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

Grieving is a terribly confusing thing. I don't know why this is coming up a year and a half later but it is along with all this other stuff. My feelings are so jumbled I don't know where to start. One thing I know is that I have a lot of unresolved anger towards "the system". Which kind of sucks because the system is a nameless, faceless thing that has no emotion and certainly no remorse.
For nine years of our lives with Caleb the system was there for us with Caleb, we are honestly so lucky how we live in a province that has so much support for those with a disability or a disabled child. But I was not prepared for how we would get treated once Caleb was no longer with us. It was like a band aid getting ripped off in one stroke, taking the hair and scab with it. I was nice to have those agencies to support us, the thing about support though is that when you have somebody rely on it the removal needs to be gradual. Sarah and I have talked about how we felt like Caleb looked after our family and I think that this is why we felt like that.
This last week Sarah brought home Caleb's wheel chair and had it in our living room. She never told me that she did this and I came home from work and there is was, it actually scared me to the point of having a small anxiety attack. I was stunned for a short amount of time and asked her why. Honestly I was angry, not so much at Sarah from bringing it home but for the rush of emotions and memories that flooded in. The kids see it like a toy and they have all taken turns sitting in Caleb's chair, it scares me to see them in the chair, especially if they sit still like Caleb did.

Where have I been?

2008-04-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

Good question, I don't know myself. Currently I find myself in a crisis of faith and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know exactly what has changed, I know there are issues that I have relating to Caleb's death that I have not dealt with but the more I search myself the more I find ugliness in my life that I really don't want to deal with. I'm tired.
One of reason things have come to a head verus staying hidden in the recesses of my mind have to do with taking on the task of leadership in our church. For most of my adult life I wanted somebody to have faith in me, to trust me in a leadership role. I am more than willing to admit that I had some very ugly motives that even I didn't recognize at the time but thankfully I had good leaders that saw through my facade and encouraged me to grow more before taking on that responsibility. Then I finally got to a place in life where I really didn't care anymore about leadership and realized the responsibility and spiritual maturity it required. And it was then that I was asked to lead a small group with Sarah. Well I have done my best at putting on the strong leader face these last couple months, and now I find my brittle mask crumbling before me. All of a sudden I feel bare, because all of my covering up has pushed my problems to the surface. Not unlike the plumber who keeps patching the water line each time it leaks, before long there is no longer a pipe, only a bunch of patches in a row that will eventually fail and flood.
Am I depressed? Well I guess so, I have gotten hear by my own decisions. I am obviously going to be stepping back from leadership, Sarah has decided that she has enough fuel in the tank to lead herself.
I don't want this to sound like a pity party for myself, I am just standing back and looking at my life and being honest with myself. There is much more that will eventually come out, just can't find the words.

Prince Caspian - May 16!!

2008-01-20T15:57:00.000-08:00

Sorry, had to remove the trailer, it was really annoying how it would play every time I loaded the page.

Family Update

2007-11-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

Hi all, I thought I should give you a little update as to what has been going on in our home as I am not blogging much these days.

Well as you can imagine the period from October 27^th to November 1^st was not a lot of fun. We went to Caleb’s grave site and remembered him as we shivered in the cold. Afterwards we went to Saskatoon Asian and spent some time as a family. This period of time was very difficult on our marriage, we were not coming together in our grief but rather coming against each other. We are taking joy in the fact that we are past all the firsts, the first Christmas, birthday, anniversary of his death and funeral. Hopefully the next year will be easier.

We haven’t had time to celebrate our anniversary yet (11 years) but we will hopefully take some time in the coming weeks.

Last night Sarah surprised me with a birthday party. I still can’t believe she pulled it off without me expecting a thing, I was sure that I would have suspected something. She invited all my guy friends and Chris (my brother-in-law) snuck in my house and setup several computers and networked them together. Needless to say we had a great “Christian” time of fellowship and blowing each other up until the wee hours of the morning. I am still recovering.

I started a new job at the end of September. I am commercial installer, installing cable, internet and phone services. As you can imagine going from a computer technician to a cable installer has been a bit of a culture shock for me but I love every minute of it. I found that with computers there were so many times I could get a computer working, but I didn’t really feel like a fixed the problem. With my new job there is no grey areas, either the signal is there and it is working, or it isn’t. With my string of perfectionism this is a really good fit. They have an unbelievable benefits package and I get every TV service (including HD), internet and phone for $100\month. This really helps our bottom line. Also my hours are 8am-4:30pm Monday to Friday, I have not have hours like those for a while.

Sarah is home schooling like crazy this year. We have both seen major growth in her and her ability to organize and keep focused. And the proof is in the pudding as the kids are always excited to tell me about what they learned during the day when I come home.

Noah is in Tae Kwon Do this year and is really enjoying it, it seems to be a better fit for him than soccer. He would play computer games and game boy all day if we let him, so we are trying to find the positives in that and get him into some educational software. Noah blows us away with his home schooling, he is so smart, and the weird thing is, is that his favourite subject is math! Hard to believe he is my son :)

Isaiah’s extracurricular activity this year is an arts and crafts class. This is totally up her alley as she spends much time at home coloring, painting, cutting, gluing and leaving a mess wherever she goes. She is still in ballet as well and is now in her second year.

Sarah enrolled Faith in a 2 year old dance class called “Move to Music”, this was put on by our community association at a local school. Faith loves it, but after the second class the teacher quit. So Sarah picked up the slack and started leading the class. It has kind of become a family project as I am the DJ and the kids assist Sarah in helping the kids. There are anywhere from 2-6 kids per week. Faith’s vocabulary expands every day and can now communicate most of what she wants. She still surprises us with some of the words that she incorporates in her sentences.

Elishah is growing like crazy, she is almost 9 months old, wow where does time go. Sarah is in the process of weaning her which means we are now into baby food and bottles. Elishah is crawling and pulling herself up on furniture. She can go from a crawl to sitting and turn around using that method.

Sarah and I have started leading a care group (which we call a life group), we have 3 other couples and one single girl. This has been stretching for us to say the least, and the timing of it with Caleb’s anniversary made it that much more difficult. It is obvious that God has called us into a time of stretching our faith and teaching us about leadership. I feel that once we get our bearings about us we will see the blessing.

Psalm 23 - Very Cute!

2007-08-19T12:07:00.001-07:00

Get Perpendicular!

2007-08-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a great animation on an innovation in new hard drives, even if you don't understand its great for a chuckle.

Get Perpendicular

Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

2007-07-31T07:18:00.000-07:00

Patrick Morley http://www.maninthemirror.org/

I've been meeting with men for over three decades. Many of those men exude a contagious joy and contentment. Their lives are peaceable, orderly, and recommend Christ. They’re downright happy!

Most of these happy men exercise six spiritual habits that keep them "abiding in Christ." These six habits are not litmus tests that you can use to judge a man’s walk with Christ. That would be extremely dangerous. These habits do nothing to improve a man’s record with Jesus. They are, however, indicators or “clues” of a deeper commitment to live by faith and make a difference in the world.

Habit #1: Spiritually happy men read the Bible regularly.
Habit #2: Spiritually happy men pray with their wives.
Habit #3: Spiritually happy men are in a small group.
Habit #4: Spiritually happy men are active in a church.
Habit #5: Spiritually happy men tithe.
Habit #6: Spiritually happy men are serving the Lord.

Full article

Family Pictures

2007-07-29T14:47:00.001-07:00

Wise Words

2007-07-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

The more secrets you take to the grave,
the sooner you will get there.

Joe W

The Swamps of Sadness

2007-07-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

I have not been in a very good mindset for the last while. Little by little I have allowed my faith to be chipped away. As I faltered, my feet started getting more and more caught up in the bog of depression and weighing me down.

Remember on "The Never Ending Story", the Swamps of Sadness? What a great illustration.

Depressions goal is to kill you, first it starts with your mind, your spirit, then your body.

But praise God for he is faithful, here are the events of tonight:

I came home sick from work as I had been having problems with my stomach the previous night and it was now really getting to me. I came home to an empty house and as I relaxed in a nice hot tub I realized how depressed I really was, so I started praying. After a while I got out and decided to turn on some worship music and read God's word. As I prayed and worshiped my stomach pains all of a sudden stopped, wow!

God then gave me a vision of a church and people worshiping, I felt that this was his leading so I hopped on my bike and started riding. Well I didn't know where I was going so I decided to head over to my friend Darcy's house, I though he might have a piece of the puzzle. Well I got to his house and nobody was home, hmmm, I wonder if I heard right. So I decided to bike downtown. Well there is a lot of construction around his house right now and all the detours lead me towards the river, but even those paths were blocked as well. Disappointed, I decided to ride home starting to regret riding all the way over hear for nothing.

As I pondered what direction I was going to take home I heard music, and as I looked a little closer that was a stage setup by the skateboard park. Turns out that a church was doing an outreach down there and giving a little concert. So I went over and listened for a while and met some great people. I love it when He shows himself like that when we take those first steps of obedience.

Peace out

Amazing!

2007-06-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

A Classic!

2007-05-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

Danielson

2007-05-09T10:36:00.001-07:00

We were coming home from the farm on Sunday night and we saw a sign for a provincial park called "Danielson". Well we just had to turn around to take a picture of the sign because this is also the nickname we call my nephew, you remember the "Karate Kid" right? Mr. Miyagi "Wax on, wax off, Danielson......."

Oh well, if you don't your just too young.

Faith vs Vaseline - The Movie

2007-05-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

A Terrible Accident

2007-05-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Before

After

Although I doubt anything is permanent, the temporary disfigurement may cause some social problems.

Vaseline Open Final Score: Bed = 0 Faith = 1

2007-04-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

+A 2yr old supposed to be sleeping in Mom & Dads bed
+A full jar of Vaseline for Mom's cracked feet
+Too much curiosity
_____________________________________________
=A normally cute face covered with the for mentioned Vaseline
=A now empty Vaseline jar

Official Body Count
-Fitted sheet
-Pillow case
-Bed skirt
-2 Quilts ( 1 with sentimental value)
-A 2yr old, if she ever does that again

2007-04-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

I'm a whole new guy with a whole new vibe.
Changed inside-more flame in the fire.
Can't stop,won't stop praying for desire.
Like the bunny on the screen feels so energized.
Old shell gone without a trace,new face.
No more shortness of breath,new pace.
Live life now without the taste of fear.
Double Dutch now let the smoke clear.

Rate Your Doctor

2007-04-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Very interesting website, every doctor I searched for was there.

RateMDs.com

Weekend

2007-03-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

Just me and the 3 oldest kids this weekend as Sarah is off on our Church ladies retreat.
We started off the morning with me sleeping in and missing Isaiah's ballet and crepes.
It is currently 2pm and I am in a wet towel just having gotten out of the shower and procrastinating on starting my day. The house is alright so far, almost got it cleaned the day before Sarah left and I have been able to maintain it.

Time to get my but in gear.

Technology, GRRRR!

2007-03-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

Almost finished The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 3, but I decided to start playing around with a Hauppauge TV tuner card that I acquired so I could start using the puter as a PVR and got a little distracted.

Yes that it right, we got cable. We took the plunge and switched all our services to Shaw, including telephone, bye bye Sasktel. Basic cable was part of the package.

I hate channel surfing, and whenever I watch TV that seems to be all I do. The solution? PVR! (Personal Video Recorder - basically turn your PC into a VCR, for the lay people). Well I managed to get the cable piped in, but getting the interactive menu downloaded so I could search for programs was a pain in the you know what. But eventually I even got that working.

Okay now for part two, because I do not plan on watching TV on my puter, I need to somehow get it to the TV\DVD player. Only option is to burn it to DVD.

Disk 1 - 5 kids shows, the process completes flawlessly. Put it in DVD player, interactive menus show up with content (very cool). First program works great, but the next four get glitchier and glitchier until they won't even play, grrrr.

Disk 2 - CSI and a couple episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Disk fails during burning process (after 30 minutes of preparation time).

Disk 3 - Same content, but burning them in the raw div x format as my DVD player can read div x. Works great, but can't fast forward through the commercials without it skipping back to the beginning of the file. Too frustrating, turned it off and went to paint the bathroom, literally.

Once I get my big screen plasma, all my problems will be solved as I can hook up the computer directly to it and just play off the HD without the frustration of burning DVD's.This is an artists rendering of what I am hoping for

The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 2

2007-03-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Previous post "The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 1"

The Ladies Retreat

There were many things brewing under the surface with a resistance to the moving of the Holy Spirit and those who were embracing it. Including between the pastor and the board. We were new Christians but we knew that the encounters that we had had with the Spirit were unlike anything we had ever experienced before and it was drawing us into deeper relationship with God and one another. Could such a thing be wrong?

Well the Pastor had had enough battling it out with the board. He announced his resignation and we were in shock. There were many times that we had had them over to our house and that they had had us over to their house. The fact that he married us and was with us through Caleb's birth meant that we felt like we were losing our own dad. We were very sad and his leaving added to our spiritual confusion.

It wasn't long before the church had a new pastor, one who was certified non-charismatic by the board. As much as this was seen as a victory for the church board, there were many of us who were getting together and having times of prayer and worship in small groups and the spirit was alive as ever.

The new pastor was just starting to get settled in before the womens retreat, I am sure he had no idea as to what was going to take place.

The retreat was mainly planned by a group of women from the church headed up by the church secretary, Laura. Laura was one of our good friends that was very excited about the moving of the Spirit in the church. The retreat took place at Cedar Lodge and guest speaker was brought in from another church. I was so happy that Sarah would get a chance to go on this ladies retreat and build relationship with other women in the church.

I have trouble remembering why, but at the last minute Sarah was not able to go. We now know that God was protecting her from what was to happen there, but at the time we were very confused.

This is what we later heard happened at the retreat:

The ladies arrived on a Friday night, they found out that the original speaker for the retreat had come down ill, but that Cedar Lodge had found somebody else to fill in, a charismatic. The evening service was very intimate and many ladies were touched for the first time by the spirit, some were not. The next day there was a healing and deliverance time in which again there were moves of the spirit that many had never seen, many tears and laughter.

But one person was very scared by what was going on and called the head of the church board. She immediately got in her car and drove out to Cedar Lodge. When she walked in the doors at the Lodge, many described it as though Satan himself had walked in the door. She proclaimed that "this stuff" does not happen in our church and this retreat is over!

The fall out of that action was far reaching. There was much confusion for the women that had been there and experienced something wonderful, and new. The situation was exacerbated when the following Sunday our new pastor officially apologized for what had happened at the retreat. The apology was more of an insult than anything.

That was the last straw for many of our close friends, little by little they left to various different churches throughout the city in search of this new move of God. I am not sure why we didn't leave with them, but for the next couple months we stayed even though it was very lonely.

We eventually did leave, there was really nothing to keep us there and the search for a new home began. We found out that a couple months after we left that the new pastor had resigned. A couple years later we ran into some old friends that still attended and they told us that the last couple with kids had just left the church. I still grieve for that church.

One last and very strange event in relation to that church happened about four years ago, when the head board member (the one that was described as Satan himself at the retreat) died tragically in a house fire.

The long and lonely search begins.

The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 1

2007-03-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

I will warn you now, my next couple of posts are going to be long. I consider my spiritual journey "on the mend" and as I have these six weeks of paternity leave God is calling me to go back to what he has done in my life and record these events as a part of my healing process.

I grew up in a very large church, and because of my age and lack of understanding I never knew the church to be any thing other than a place my family went to on Sunday mornings. I got to see my Grandma and Grandpa, and Uncle and Aunt but other than immediate family there were no close relationships there.

Later on I got involved with the youth group, the friendships I made there were very surface and often times I would end up bringing my own friends with me to youth group so that I had somebody to hand around with.

I decided to leave the church when I was old enough to make those decisions and never looked back. There was no relationships to keep me there, I doubt anybody noticed I left.

Later on I saw my need for God in my life and I started searching for him. At the time I was going through a 10-step group and I knew who my higher power was, but I knew there was more.

My last semester in High School I moved out on my own in a basement suite of a Christian couple's home. The were very nice people and in telling them of my spiritual journey they invited me to their church. I was very hesitant at first and refused but one week later decided to join them. Ironically it was a baptism Sunday at the church. The testimonies quickly moved me to tears and I knew this was what I was looking for. After the service I approached the pastor and told him I wanted to be baptized, the next week I was.

So I started attending, Sarah started to come with me soon after that.

We had struggled with premarital sex previous to my baptism, and though we tried to abstain after my baptism, it continued. And now we had guilt. We talked to the pastor and asked for help. His counsel was blunt, if you love each other and want to be with each other and can't stop having sex, get married!

Shortly there after we found out Sarah was pregnant and I proposed. We got married in that church, there we many people that helped in our wedding that attended the church who didn't know us, but loved us none the less. Three months later Caleb was born with all of his difficulties and the church was there for us again, both financially and spiritually. There were a number of couples that took us under their wings and discipled us (even though at the time we did not know of discipleship).

Through all of this there were many changes happening in the church, the worship started to get more intense, people started raising their hands and we experienced for the first time the Holy Spirit. It was and amazing time and we were blown away. But under the surface there were some people who saw these changes as very threatening, and most of all ungodly. There was a spiritual battle happening right under our noses. Many of the battles happened between our pastor and the church board.

The people that were resisting the move of the spirit in our church were not evil people, they did not know any better and were scared of the unknown. At the time we did not have relationship with many of these people and could not understand their actions, but we do now.

Everything came to a head at the ladies retreat.

Just One More

2007-03-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

I didn't have any pictures of Mommy and baby, so here is one.

Pictures

2007-03-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

Previous post "The Perfect Church"

Postpartum Family Pictures

Look at me, open eyes!

Do I have to kiss that?

I'm still a baby too, right?

Big brother cuddles

Okay, not my best picture, but still cute

Best sisters

Pictures for my new baby sister

Bearded Daddy and me

The Perfect Church

2007-03-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

I think that I shall never see
A Church that's all it ought to be;

A Church that has no empty pews,
Whose Pastor never has the blues;

A Church whose Deacons always Deke
And none is proud but all are meek;

Where gossips never peddle lies
Or make complaints or criticize;

Where all are always sweet and kind
And all to other's faults are blind.

Such perfect churches there may be,
But none of them are known to me.

But still we'll work, and pray and plan
To make our Church the best we can!

This poem reminds me of the teaching we had when we were going through a study called Transformations at our church. In the study we talked about how people criticize the church about how imperfect it is, and that is their claim that is why they do not believe God is in the church.

What we don't realize is that it is the fact that the church is so imperfect, that shows that God is in the church.

Without God's love for one another in the church, the church would cease to exist. It is only the love that Christ put in our hearts for him, and hence for one another that we can coexist as family. Jesus is the oil in the engine if you will, that lubricates the friction.

So even though I may not like the way Bob constantly yells "Amen" during the service, or Joanne's frantic dancing seems out of place. I can still love the Jesus that is within them.

Thank you

2007-03-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for my Pastor, Terry Froese. He has been leading me and my family for nearly 7 years now, and the more I get to know him, the more I am so thankful that I have him in my life.
He loves his church, and has done everything he can to correct, and guide our body towards a closer, intimate relationship with Jesus. His gentle, yet direct correction has always been what I needed, though at the time may have stung a little.
I have not had a deep intimate relationship with him, there were proper boundaries that were set in place when we first started attending our church. None the less I know that he is for me, and that he leads me the way that a Shepard leads his flock.
Terry was there for me and my family when Caleb passed away. He stepped in and helped us make funeral decisions and most importantly prayed for us and taught us valuable information about what grief is and what we would be facing ahead.
He has had to take some time off for himself to heal and renew, and I miss my spiritual father. But I know that when the timing is right, and Jesus has done the work on him that he needs, he will return with an new and even greater anointing.

Rest Good Shepard,
Love Your Flock

She's Here

2007-02-26T06:38:00.000-08:00

Elishah Caleb was born 3pm February 24th, 2007 weighing in at 6lbs 7oz. Perfectly healthy and as cute as can be!!

Well, it was quite an adventure the last couple of days. I will try to give the "Readers Digest" edition.

Feb 22nd - 11am Doctors appointment, the doctor confirms baby is head up again and schedules another ECV (manually turning the baby) and induction to follow so that she does not turn again.

Feb 23rd - Arrive at hospital at 10am for ECV but Sarah thinks that she turned again in the night. Ultrasound confirms it, and it is off to the birthing ward.

After a bad IV the drip is started and small contractions start quickly. Sarah labors for the rest of the day with painful contractions but little change. By 8pm contractions are extremely painful, Sarah and I are exhausted. Doctor does one more painful internal exam and recommends turning everything off and trying again the next day. We gladly agree.

We move rooms and even though Sarah doesn't have the drip on she continues contracting through the night.

Feb 24th - Even though it was a bad sleep, it was sleep none the less and we both wake up somewhat ready to try again. After a refreshing shower, some toast and a new IV we are on the drip again by 9am. Thankfully the painful contaractions through the night had helped to dialate Sarah to 5cm.

Contractions got painful very quickly and at noon and internal exam revealed that she was still only 5cm, which was very discouraging. Near 1pm Sarah finally got her epidural and a smile was back on her face.

Water broke an hour later, but still only 5cm and by most nurses opinion not ready. After a short nap Sarah says she felt the baby kick and move down and tells me to get the nurse because this baby is coming. Nurse comes in and tells Sarah to calm down the baby is not ready yet. Sarah force the nurse to examine her and she feels the babys head.

Well panic sets in as there is not a doctor to be found. A surgeon comes in, and leaves, then an obstetrician and coaches Sarah to deliver the head. As soon as the head crowns Sarah's doctor magically appears just in time to catch the baby as she slides out (doesn't even have to to get her greens on and delivers the baby wearing a $200 white blouse and black leather pants).

Ten minutes old and Elishah is already straining to open her eyes and get a glimpse of this world. She takes the breast and shows how strong her suck reflex is.

More to come......

We're in & SHBE Conference 2006

2007-02-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday night (the night after the carpet was installed) Noah very proudly moved into his new room.

We moved down the following night. Other than it being a little chilly, huge and no closets, it is starting to feel like our room.
Unfortunatley the finishing costs are much higher than anticipated and doors and trim will have to wait.

Another Home Schooling conference came and went. It has been something we look forward to every year and this year was no acception. Unfortunatley it was somewhat dissapointing as the focus was not nearly as "Christian" as it has been other years. We spent most of our time in the curriculm fair spending money rather than attending all the sessions. Carebear and I did get to spend a lot of time together, which more than anything was the highlight of the weekend.

Fatal Beating

2007-01-25T08:39:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year

2007-01-17T07:23:00.000-08:00

I know that New Years day was nearly two weeks ago, but better late than never.

I can remember my pastor asking me if I knew what the most religious day of the year was? At the time I thought it was a no brainer, has to be Christmas, possibly Thanksgiving. He said no, the most religious time of year is New Years day. Even the pagans become religious with there resolutions for the New Year. Well since then I have had a completely new outlook on new years and religious resolutions and have pretty much written them off.

It is interesting though, how the New Year has changed many things for my family. Probably the biggest change has been a new resolution to get on with life. It doesn't mean that the grieving has stopped, it just means that the grieving is no longer stopping life. Slowly, little by little we are finding that new normal.

Our Need for ‘Symbiotic Accountability’

2007-01-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

By Kenny Luck

Spiritual independence is an oxymoron. The key word here is moron.

"My relationship with God is personal," is a common refrain. I hear this from men who either don't have the spine to accept responsibility or to admit a fault—or both. As a men's pastor, it is the verbal equivalent of a skunk facing south with its tail raised. It's code for, "Get out of my space or else." There are lots of reasons why men respond this way.

Shame, selfishness, ignorance, wounds and defects produced by a sinful nature are the major culprits. But for the man who has experienced the slimy pits of self sufficiency, been broken by his sin, been awakened by grace and tasted God's goodness, this reaction is more than counterproductive. It invites God's discipline. God's man is designed to live interdependently with another brother.

This accountability is a locking of arms that grows stronger over time. The myth is that deep spiritual maturity should require less accountability over time. It certainly sounds good. But any pastor would probably tell you the opposite is true.

This "symbiotic accountability" is highlighted in Paul's exhortation to the Thessalonian church. Reconnaissance by Paul's protégé Timothy showed good spiritual progress, and his reports were off the charts.

Their report card according to 1 Thessalonians 3:6-9 was FAITH: A+, LOVE: A+ and COMMITMENT: A+. What do you say to disciples like this? Listen closely to how Paul manages the news and responds to the men in Thessalonica who may have been feeling like they had the Jesus thing down.

"Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told and warned you" (1 Thessalonians 4:1-6, NIV).

Red alert! Warning! Personal space being invaded!

The message from Paul to the men of Thessalonica was unmistakable: "I affirm you and your progress to this point"; "I am not letting you stay comfortable"; "I am focused on the next area of spiritual integrity"; "I am in your spiritual life to stretch you"; "I am going to invade your space in Jesus' name"; "I am asking and urging you to keep stretching spiritually"; "I see an area you need to work on—keep your togas down"; "I am going to call it like I see it"; and "I do not need an invitation or a crisis to speak up."

If I were a Thessalonian believer, I might push back and get in Paul's face. "What authority do you have to get into my business? Isn't that between me and the Lord?" Paul knows this and that is why he says, "I ask you, I urge you 'in the Lord Jesus … by the authority of the Lord Jesus.' " In other words, he's saying, "In the Lord Jesus, your business is my business and my business is your business."

Brother to brother, believer to believer, we are deputized by Jesus and given the authority in Him to firmly and gently encourage a brother to line his life up with his identity and responsibility as God's man. It's not about the messenger, his character or even his delivery. It's about who he represents, the truthfulness of his observation and his faithfulness to God's purpose for the relationship.

What's actually at stake if you don't enter into that kind of spiritual relationship with another man or two? The less accountable God's men are, the sicker that body becomes because it has unchecked cancers of character growing.

The more accountable we are as God's men, the healthier we are as individuals and, consequently, the healthier our body of believers becomes. That's why more of God's men need to have a Jonathan and David moment.

One God's man simply commits the following to the other: "The Lord is witness between you and me" (1 Samuel 20:42, NIV). In other words, we are each other's spiritual space invaders, and we won't let each other fail spiritually.

Kenny Luck is a men’s pastor at Rick Warren's Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., and founder and president of Every Man Ministries, an organization that helps churches worldwide develop and grow healthy men's communities. He is the author or co-author of 16 books, including Risk (WaterBrook Press). Learn more at www.everymanministries.com.

Will they ever get it?

2007-01-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

I ponder often about a situation that came up in our church body. Without getting into the details, it was a situation where two people had gotten up to their eyeballs in sin. And though the church offered and did what they could to help them see their sin and get out of it, the sin itself blinded them. And rather than see the error of their ways, they decided to take offence and walk away.

This reminds me of a situation where a brother pointed out some sin in my life. Because I knew that the sin was sin, I could say nothing about it. So I did what any rebellious Christian would do, I decided to take offence to the way that he approached me, and I severed my relationship with him. Well that festered under the surface and produced all kinds of grossness in my life. The day I repented in tears to him was the day I was really set free.

I have never been in a church where somebody would actually be asked to leave. Would I be able to love somebody that much that I would be willing to face rejection myself so that this person might somehow be set free from their sin? I know that the natural me would want to smooth things over, make excuses for them and just say that the love of Jesus is enough. What kind of love is that?

The situation brought out issues that I have with people involved, and how I need to forgive even though there is no repentance only selfishness. My heart aches for the people that got hurt in the process, for them there can be no repentance that could ever heal their pain.

So will they ever get it? I hope so, otherwise we will be just one of the many obstacles they view in their rear view mirror of life. As they careen from place to place hoping that somehow the next church may have the answer as to how stop the hurt of a life of sin and a lack of repentance.

Auto Pilot

2006-12-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen the movie "Click" with Adam Sandler? This movie was one that we expected little from, but enjoyed a lot. In the movie the main character gets a remote control that allows him to fast forward his life, or skip to other chapters. When he skips a chapter he is not actually conscious and goes into "auto pilot" where he is there, but not really there. He gets the stuff done that he needs to but life just takes him along and he is not really a part of it.
It is amazing how this example really sums up how I am feeling right now. I am just rushing along on the wings of life and yet somehow, it feels like life is passing me by.
Is this how I am coping with the grief of losing my son? A good part of me is hoping so and therefore I am doing little to stop it. But there is a part of me that tells me it is wrong and that I have got to snap out of it.
At first it felt good to have the busyness of getting the basement finished, as it helped me to get my mind off of Caleb and the hurt I was feeling, but now I am seeing it as an escape and a way not to deal with things.
Of course as Christmas approached work became busier and busier, then we ourselves got into the "routine" of rushing around to the different homes. And now that everything is over I find myself bitter.
I am angry that I only had a week after Caleb passed before having to go back to work . I am resentful that our contractor needed to be done our basement before Dec 15th, leaving a load of work for me and no time to grieve. I am frustrated how differently my wife and I are dealing with grieving and how we never seem to be able to see eye to eye. I am upset that it seems I have no time to deal with the loss of my son and that I feel so distant from God.
In many ways it feels like nobody cares about my grieving process, I am just expected to go back to normal life.
Well, sorry for pooping all over you, just venting.

Life Continues

2006-12-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

As much as I wish I could crawl into a small hole somewhere and hibernate, life continues and things need to get done. After Caleb's passing all of my motivation for finishing our basement was gone, I didn't even want to look at it. But our contractor wanted to get it done before he shut down for Christmas vacation on the 15th of December.
So I was faced with one of two options, either wait until sometime in late January or February to continue, or get my grieving but in gear and get it done. Our baby is coming late February or March and I did not want to be doing insulation, drywall, paint ect with a new born in the house so we started work again.

Insulation and vapor barrier

Our bedroom all insulated

Ryan, my most faithful helper

Bedroom drywalled and mudded

The bathroom and bathtub Sarah has been longing to use

The box of screws I have accidentally dumped at least a dozen times

Since Friday I have had many friends and family help me, and many late nights. There is no way this ever could have gotten to this point without their help and I am so thankful. It really is overwhelming when people go out of their way to help you by rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty.

Not Sure What To Say

2006-11-21T16:06:00.000-08:00

Grieving is strange, it don't really understand it. The week after Caleb passed I was doing well, I was okay with what happened and generally happy that Caleb had been released from his broken body into his new heavenly body. Life carried on and I went back to work. Since then I have hurt more than ever. My grief is taking the form of anger inside me. I am not outright mad at anybody or even God, I am just mad. It doesn't seem fair that life should just go on, my son just died. Because I don't like anger I tend to just numb out and numbness is not good for me or anybody around me.
Today was one of the first days that I felt a little normal. I am embarking on a new project at work, my family is finally recovering from the sickness that swept through, and I see a need to commune with God which I have been generally avoiding for the last while. Please pray for us and we figure out what normal is and try and get back to a routine.

Funeral

2006-10-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Caleb went to be with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ yesterday morning at 6:30am. Even though his condition seemed stable, he was not improving and it would seem that he was just tired of fighting.
I am so thankful that he now has a new body, and for the first time he is able to talk and walk.
Caleb's life celebration will be Wednesday November 1, 2pm at Hope Fellowship Church. All are welcome.

Caleb

2006-10-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Caleb went into the hospital Monday which has really thrown us for a tizzy.
He has a really bad pneumonia in both his lungs and possibly in his blood.
We are going through a roller coaster of emotions as the doctors will tell
us that he might not make it, then they tell us that he may pull through.
The fact of the matter is that only God knows as this point.

Our breif moment of encouragement came yesterday in the form of Caleb opening his eyes and looking around for about 15 minutes or so. He got to see all of his family and extended family and made us all smile.

We are spending the majority of our time at the hospital and other kids are completely out a whack from the hospital visits and sleep overs at relatives and church family.

Last night as Caleb's blood\oxygen saturation levels continue to drop to an all time low, the doctors took us aside for the second time and told us to make sure to say our goodbye's to Caleb. We had intended to stay the night just in case he passed in the night, but by 10 o'clock, his levels were back up to normal.

Please pray for Caleb, the kids and us as we are struggling through this time. I hope to have some

Home Owners

2006-10-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

As of 12pm, October 6th it is official.

Basement Renovations Update 2

2006-10-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

A couple more pictures now that work has started

Baby's room

Our room before the windows

The bathroom

The windows installed and what used to be our beatiful front yard, now destroyed :(

The bedrooms with the new windows

Basement Renovations Update

2006-10-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

Here are the "before" photos of what the basement looked like before any construction. The coffee colored walls are the ones that used to be our bedroom, which will be the new baby;s room. The room with the lumber is what will be our family room, the room with the exercise machine will be our bedroom. And last and least is the laundry room.

Pictures From PCCC

2006-10-08T16:44:00.000-07:00

The are the pictures from the cheque presentation ceremony at Superstore. The van you see in the background is our new van. It was an incredible day and overwhelming in a lot of ways as we did not know what to expect.

When we pulled up there were approximatley 30 employees, as well as the store manager and district manager standing in front of the store ready to welcome us. You could tell that these employees really took ownership of the Children's Charity. They were very curious to see who would be receiving the fruit of their labors. It was a great day!

Do You Love Your Sin?

2006-09-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

At first, you might say "love my sin? of course not", but you need to ask yourself
some questions that will help you determine this.

Do you protect your sin?

-Do you make sure that you are not discovered in your sin by hiding it, or
by lying to others (and ultimately yourself) about the severity of it?
-Do you make plans to sin, and rearrange your life to accommodate it?

Do you really view your sin as something that is hateful to God?

-Do you make excuses in your mind about how other people struggle with worse sin?
-Do you continue in your sin because you think that you can ask for forgiveness after you have had enjoyed your sin?
-Has your heart become hard towards your sin and you no longer fear the
consequences?

Do you blame circumstances or others for your sin?

-Do you tell yourself that if event "x" hadn't happened in your life that you
would no longer have these problems?
-Do you feel that if other people just kept you more accountable that you
might stop?
-Are you hoping that someone will come along and lead you out of your sin?

Are you waiting for something really bad to happen so that it will help you
stop?

We have to realize that we have a love\hate relationship with habitual sin. Most people that do not have Christ would not view our "struggle" as sin, and sometimes we use that to justify it. But with Christ in us, we have a new standard, a higher calling for purity.

Our God is a jealous God, and He wants none before him. All habitual sin is like an idol to our flesh, and a spit in the eye of God.

When the world sees the church struggling with habitual sin, divorce, adultery, ect. we are telling the world that we are the same as you, we have no life changing power inside of us, no power to overcome what we know is wrong.

God needs us to be pure so that we can hear and obey

You may need to read that again just so that it can sink in. Habitual sin covers our ears so that we can't hear that "one small voice" in our spirit when He is speaking to us. Be it a hurting wife, child or coworker. He wants us to be able to hear so that when he tells us that someone is hurting, we can go to him or her and be Jesus in the flesh. This is where the obedience comes in.

When I am free of my habitual sin, then I will be able to act upon what God speaks to me.
When I am in bondage the accuser has legal access to taunt me, and when God calls me to do something, all I can hear is how wretched I am because I am still struggling with this sin over me.

If you are struggling with some habitual sin, please do not read this and let condemnation come over you. My prayer is that you would hear that the God of the entire universe has the power to lead you out of your sin even more power to be His hands and feet in this world.

Name Game

2006-09-21T18:13:00.000-07:00

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(your first pet and the street that you live on)
Baby Whelan

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favourite candy)
Ernie Twix

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
J-Wil

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite colour, favourite animal)
Red Dog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
William Saskatoon

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 2 letters of mom's maiden name)
Waljoro

7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("the", your favourite colour, favourite drink)
The Red Pepsi

8. NASCAR NAME: (the firstname of both your grandfathers)
Steve Ernie

9. FUTURISTIC NAME: (the name of your favourite perfume/cologne and the name of your favourite shoes)
Tommy Cat

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother/father's middle name and the next name you hear on the tv/radio/talk)
Steve Caleb

Counting My Blessings

2006-09-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

I am not really sure what God is up to, but all I can say is wow! I am in awe of everything my father is doing, and I am really starting to wonder what I have done to deserve this? The answer is so simple though, nothing! God never blesses because of what we have done, but because of who He is. Here is a list of what God has done since I closed my business almost exactly one year ago today.

A close and loving, trust filled, romantic relationship with my wife
Kids that are showing the fruit of the Holy Spirit alive in them
A baby (another arrow for my quiver)
Financial provision
A new job (that I really enjoy)
Confidence
New neighbors (my brother and sister-in-law)
A home for my family
Hope
A new nephew
A new found enjoyment of home repairs
A better relationship with my parents
Provision for two new bedrooms, a bathroom and living room (basement renovations)

I am starting to feel like my life is a road map to God. Everything I have listed has a story behind it and I can show you how God's fingerprints were all over how these things. The most recent addition to the list happened today, we got a phone call from President's Choice Children's Charity and...........we got the funding for our van! Wow! And just to show off, the day we are to receive the funding is the same day we take possession of our house. Wow, praise God!
I am still in shock; I have never seen the hand of God like this in my life. And honestly it really makes me look at my life and ask what I have done for him?
It also reminds me of how I have put my earthly fathers face on my God. Growing up I always felt like my father didn't want good things for me. As such I have had a hard time when praying to ask for earthly things because I felt like He didn't care about anything that wasn't spiritual or about saving souls.

Thank God that He doesn't fit into our boxes!

Praise God!!

2006-09-11T16:52:00.000-07:00

This is why I Blog, helps me not to forget where I came from. This post is dated July 2005, wow!

Quiz

2006-09-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am giving into the peer pressure and doing one of these quizes. I actually thought it was quite fun when I did it on my sis-in-laws blog. Click here to see if you really know me.

Handy Man

2006-09-09T19:33:00.001-07:00

Well, I have got to say I am starting to feel like a bonified handy man. It is really quite amazing what becoming a homeowner will do for a person. The offer has been accepted, the mortgage papers have been signed and I am feeling like a homeowner, weird.

I have rented ever since I moved out of my parents home. As a spoiled rich kid growing up I never really respected the homes I lived in as a kid or really appreciated what it took to maintain and upkeep a home. The same has applied for each of the four rentals we have since we were married.
In fact, it has only been since in these last couple months that I have realized the complete disrespect I have had for the rentals we have had, sad really.

In the four years we have lived in our current home I haven't done much to change the house. The first project would have been painting the girls room (a delicate purple) , which my wife had to prod me along to do. The second project was taping, mudding and painting two walls in our basement (which would eventually become our bedroom). Even those jobs were within the last year and a half.

Earlier this summer was when we first started to think that it might actually be possible to become homeowners. You have to understand where I came from to understand why this seemed like such an impossible dream.

Almost exactly one year ago I closed my business, which really was supposed to be my families future. Five years I worked away at it hoping that this was going to be the year things turned around and the money would start flowing. The only thing that I really accomplished was to get the business to a point that it could sustain itself, but that was only happened in the final two years. The first three years I racked up such a huge debt that that getting the business to sustain itself was really only one step forward when I had already traveled back a hundred. At the time, closing the doors looked like it would be the start of a many year journey just to get back to where I started.

When I look back on the whole thing now and see the huge blessings that God has brought us, it is easy to see all the signs that God kept showing me that it was time to close the doors. I now know it was my pride, laziness and my lack of courage that kept me in chains, when I thought I was in freedom.

In the last year God has brought prosperity to my family, and for the first time I see a bright financial future for my family. God has also given me a confidence that I have never had. A confidence that I am worth a decent wage as I have skills that are valuable to a employer, and a confidence that because of the way God wired me I can fix, build and create.

Earlier this summer we refinished our deck, a couple days ago I repaired and repainted a wall in our kitchen, yesterday I painted a bench for our kitchen. Today I installed a portable dishwasher into our kitchen cupboards, did the plumbing and everything. I never would have considered doing any of these things before becoming a homeowner.

Basement will start soon.

The Stingy Rich

2006-08-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

A recent government study proves my point: those earning less than $10,000 give 5.5 percent of their income to charitable causes. Those earning over $500,000 give less than 3 percent.

I thought this to be very interesting, and very true. If I tithe 10% of a thousand, it is only $100. I don't think about it and it silently slips out of my bank account with little notice.

Change the numbers a bit and lets say God decides to bless with a heftier sum, maybe $6000. 10% of that is now $600 dollars. That only leaves me with $5400, and I find myself justifying out the wazoo why this money was not something that I need to tithe on.

That greed must look so ugly to God, as he usually blesses us with finances to bless others and I have trouble letting go only 10% of the whole.

Don't Download This Song!

2006-08-26T12:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.dontdownloadthissong.com

Mortgage

2006-08-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

Entymology:
1390, from O.Fr. morgage (13c.), mort gaige, lit. "dead pledge" (replaced in modern Fr. by hypothèque), from mort "dead" + gage "pledge;" so called because the deal dies either when the debt is paid or when payment fails.

Source: www.entymonline.com

I am writting from work right now, very excited as we just heard back from the Credit Union (yeah weird) and they are ready to process our mortgage with no co-signer and at a great interest rate with lots of flexability.

We will be going in to Saskhousing September 1st to send away the offer to purchase!!!!

Woohoo!

Updates

2006-08-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

New Look

Blogger has just released their beta of their new Blogspot interface. Hence the new face to my blog. i highly recommend updating your blog as it gives you many more features and a much nicer interface. My blog now shows up properly in IE and Firefox.

Home Purchase

We had an appointment with the local Credit Union, this went okay but I was not really impressed with the quality of service. The loans officer we were dealing with was overly pessimistic and did not help us to feel that we had much of a chance of qualifying. Later it became apparent that she didn't really know what she was doing as far as working with the CAHP program.

Today I had an appointment with a mortgage broker, the same one my sister and brother-in-law used and it went much better. He was very positive and encouraging. We now need to wait a couple days to find out.

Our good friend Ron came over today to look over our basement again and to go over our plans. He is the one who is going to be doing the rennovations for us. We are going to cut two new windows into the foundation for the bedrooms as a part of fire regulations, but everything looks like it will work with the layout we have planned.

We will be beginning our rennovations October as long as everything keeps going as planned.

Moooola!!!

Gotta love the Government, there is a disability tax credit that we were supposed to be receiving for my oldest son since 2000. So we got surprised with a huge back pay on this months child tax, talk about timing, man God is good!

Job

There is an interesting little story behind it, but all of a sudden two weeks ago I go from being a commission salesman to computer tech. I was a little confused and frustrated with the process but when the hand of God moves, it moves. With the change in position I pick up one more shift which means 3 back to back 13 hour days but a substantial pay increase.

Baby

Sarah is finally out of the first trimester blues. Sickness is gone and she is more or less back to her normal self minus a some energy. Baby is 3 months along and the reality of having a family of 7 is finally starting to set in.

Brothers

I am really feeling out of touch with my brothers. I had coffee with CWG, Moose amd Jaydon last Thursday which was awesome. It felt so good to get together again and talk and laugh like we used to.
We have had some really interesting topics come up at our Wednesday morning breakfasts including pornography, Israel and finances.
I find my heart almost aching for some of my other brothers that I have literally lost contact with over the summer, I don't know where they are at but I sence some struggles. Need to get together soon!

The All-Pro Dad Playbook

2006-08-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

1. Spend time with your children-Value their interests and their schedules.

2. Earn the right to be heard-Listen first. Listen for how they feel. Listen for what makes them smile.

3. Discipline with a gentle spirit-Be aware (know what happened). Be alarmed (admit it bothers you). Be accepting (solve the problem but save the person).

4. Be a role model-Display humility, integrity and patience.

5. Teach the lessons of life-You are their teacher, their mentor and their guide.

6. Eat together as a family-Eat a weekly family meal, have a monthly family celebration and take a yearly family outing.

7. Respect your children's mother-Respect her with words. Respect her with time. Respect her with agreement.

8. Read to your children-Read a book. Read from a magazine. Read from the Internet.

9. Show affection and appreciation-Show them their strengths. Show them unconditional love.

10. Realize a father's job is never done-Let them hear your voice, for life. Let them have access to you, for any need. Let them feel unconditional love, forever.

By Chad Bonham, contributing editor to New Man.

Home First

2006-08-07T09:29:00.000-07:00

We are one step closer to owning our home. We were fortunate enough to find out about a program called "Home First". Rather than trying to explain it myself, I will give you the official description:

The homeownership option of the Centenary Affordable Housing Program (CAHP) is now being offered through HomeFirst, a Government of Saskatchewan initiative that offers programs to meet the current and future housing needs of Saskatchewan people.

CAHP-Homeownership, is a program funded by the federal government through Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation (CMHC), the Government of Saskatchewan through the Saskatchewan Housing Corporation (SHC), and the local municipal governments.

CAHP-Homeownership offers people a forgivable equity loan of up to $19,500 based on household income and unit price. If the loan recipient stays in the home for 10 years, the equity loan will be forgiven in full.

People are eligible for the program if they are a family with dependants, including single-parent households, and people with disabilities with a housing impact directly related to their disability. Housing may be single-family dwelling, semi-detached, duplex, condominium, apartment style or row housing. Applicants are required to participate in homeowner education. Included in the homeowner education package is information on money management, understanding credit, mortgage readiness, home-buying process and post-purchase home maintenance and repair.

Many of the houses that are for sale are on our street and it just so happens that our home is one that will be on the market if we move out. So we will be able to just go from renters, to owners in one smooth (hopefully) step. We love our home, and the opportunity to actually own it is just unbelieveable.

If we are going to stay here for the entire 10 years we will need to do some renovations. I have been using a simple cad program and planned out the basement. Currently our basement is completely open with our bed in one corner, TV area in the other, laundry area in the other and then the computer room in the other. It is nice and open but no privacy. Here are the future plans:

A: New baby's room

B: Master bedroom (with ensuit bathroom)

C: Bathroom

D: Laundry room and work area

E: TV\Computer area

F: Stairs down to basement

This Thursday we have an appointment for a mortgage application, after that we will make our offer on the house :) and rennovations to start as quickly as possible after that.

Peace, Propaganda & The Promised Land

2006-08-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

Peace, Propaganda & the Promised Land provides a striking comparison of U.S. and international media coverage of the crisis in the Middle East, zeroing in on how structural distortions in U.S. coverage have reinforced false perceptions of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This pivotal documentary exposes how the foreign policy interests of American political elites--oil, and a need to have a secure military base in the region, among others--work in combination with Israeli public relations strategies to exercise a powerful influence over how news from the region is reported.
Through the voices of scholars, media critics, peace activists, religious figures, and Middle East experts, Peace, Propaganda & the Promised Land carefully analyzes and explains how--through the use of language, framing and context--the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza remains hidden in the news media, and Israeli colonization of the occupied terrorities appears to be a defensive move rather than an offensive one. The documentary also explores the ways that U.S. journalists, for reasons ranging from intimidation to a lack of thorough investigation, have become complicit in carrying out Israel's PR campaign. At its core, the documentary raises questions about the ethics and role of journalism, and the relationship between media and politics.

Ring Around The Rose....Me

2006-07-29T00:23:00.000-07:00

Although I don't want to admit it I have built a ring around me that keeps me in me. Confused yet? It really isn't that complicated or maybe it is.

I remember some teaching I heard a while ago by a man I really respect. One of the things he spoke of is how we as Christians make our lives so complicated so we can justify not reaching out. Our lives have become a lot more complicated recently, pregnancy, job situation, funding requests, house purchasing, mortgage, renovations, the list goes on and on. And you know what? These are the same things that are continually on my mind. To the point that I just don't have any thought space for anything else.

Am I fulfilling my mandate to go out and make disciples? Am I serving my Church? Am I reaching out to those God has brought into my life? No!!! Who has time for any of that stuff? Do you know what I have on my plate?

Am I making my life complicated? Well no, not really, these are just the things God has given us to deal with. But the choices as to how I deal with them are mine. I think that is what is making me the most frustrated with these situations is that there are other people making these decisions for us. Will we get a grant for a van, can we buy our house, will we get a mortgage? Notice that I am completely powerless in all these situations? So why do I put it on my shoulders. Somehow I think I can think my way through, but really I have to lay them down.

I can remember how envious I one was of the farmers. I know, not many people envy farmers but I can remember thinking about how much faith a farmer must have compared to the rest of us. They put their crop in the ground and the rest is up to God. Is there going to be rain, frost maybe drought? They never know, but those situations are out of their control. That’s faith!

I told this to a friend once and he said how is your life any different? The only difference is the commodity. A farmer may but wheat in the ground hoping to reap a harvest; you may put extra effort into your job in hopes of reaping a promotion. Neither situation is more "holy" or "spiritual" than the other, only the illusion of control over the situation. It would be silly to think that a farmer could do anything to make his crop grow faster or better, he realizes he is not in control. He is still going to fertilize and spray for weeds, but those are just the things he needs to do.

The other side effect of thinking you have control over a situation is that you start to think you deserve it. I know my heart needs a check up immediately if I start thinking I deserve something.

Well I am glad I sat down to write about this, things are a lot clearer now, I would appreciate some prayer that I would be able to lay these things down. Thanks for reading.

MXC???

2006-07-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

The Second Chance

2006-07-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

WWII Historic Sites

2006-07-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

WWII buffs will love these pictures I found on the "Day Of Defeat" website forum (Day Of Defeat is a WWII computer game mod based on the Half Life 2 graphics engine). There are many guys that play this game that are big time WWII fans, and one of them was able to tour Europe and see these incredible historic sights. One day I dream of doing this.

Bayeux, is a small town in Normandy, northwestern France. During the Second World War Bayeux was one of the first French towns to be liberated during the Battle of Normandy. There are many pictures of this colorful little town, and the many historic sites located there. Take a browse through these pictures here.

These next set of pictures are of the beach fronts in Normandy, where the allies mouted their invasion on D-day. All kinds of pictures of old bunkers, transports, museums and memorials. Very cool, check them out here.

These next pictures were the ones I thought were the best. These are the pictures of Eagle's Nest also known as the Kehlsteinhaus. Eagle's Nest is a level I have played in Battlefield 1942 many times, it is really neat to see the real thing. This mountaintop hideaway was a gift to Hitler from the Nazi party. Ironically due to his fear of heights and migraine head aches as a result of his service in WWI he only visited the site a handful of times. The pictures are here.

This last set of pictures you may find a little disturbing, I know I did. These pictures are of the Daucau concentraion camp, similar to the famous Auschwitz. Many pictures of the inside, memorials, gas chambers disguised as showers and ovens where the millions of bodies were disposed of. I feel it is important for us to remember these terrible acts so that we will never repeat them. These pictures are located here.

Innocence

2006-06-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

Explain God: From the eyes of an 8 year old

"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn't have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."

"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because He hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in His ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off."

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting His time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have."

"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him. But He was good and kind, like His Father and He told His Father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."

"His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So He did. And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important."

"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."

"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God. Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway."

"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids."

"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases.

And.that's why I believe in God."

Attributed to Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment.

Thank You!

2006-06-19T21:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, are we blessed! When our father God puts a rock in your path, he is faithful to help you find your way around it. And we are blessed because we will be able to handle the next rock that comes our way.

Not long ago we found out about a wheelchair van that could actually work for a family our size. Usually when you do a wheel chair conversion to a van you get rid of at least half the seating. Well Viewpoint Mobility has one that still has seating for four besides the wheelchair (that means we would still have room for one more :).Needless to say we were very excited, but those of you who have been following our financial situation know that we cannot afford a new van. So we applied with the Kinsmen Telemiracle Foundation for the cost of the conversion ($22,000.00). We managed to get our application in in time and last night they called to say we have been approved. Wow!

So now we have to raise another $23,000.00 as the cost of a converted van costs $45,000.00. We were advised that we should apply with President's Choice Children's Charity as they have helped families to purchase a van to a maximum of $20,000.00.

We will need to kick in the other $3000.00, not sure where that will come from, but if God can provide us with $42,000.00 I am sure he will figure it out.

Just the thought of this being a possibility has given Sarah and I new hope with Caleb and the future looks just a little brighter.

My Savior My God

2006-06-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I just found this incredible P & W album by Aaron Shust. I have been very blessed by his songs. You can list to this song and a couple others at his website www.aaronshust.com. This song peticularly got me and I have not been able to stop listening to it. Highly recommened!

Aaron Shust - My Savior My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at his right hand
Stands one who is my savior

I take him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For him to be my savior

That he would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my savior

My savior loves, my savior lives
My savior's always there for me
My God he was, my God he is
My God he's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That he who lives to be my king
Once died to be my savior

That he would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my savior

My savior loves, my savior lives
My savior's always there for me
My God he was, My God he is
My God he's always gonna be

Family Planning

2006-06-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

Sarah and I have been forced to look into the issue of family planning, and decide how we are going to approach this issue. God has been preparing me for this issue and laying a foundation for the truth.
We have fallen into a societal lie that says two children is the ideal. When you look at scripture there is nothing to support this, and in fact everything in the Bible says just the opposite. This lie has permeated us like crazy. How many times when I tell somebody that I have four children do I hear "Wow, ever heard of birth control?".

So where does the lie begin? Well what is everybody’s main concern about lots of children, money! How will you be able to afford to raise all those children? When it comes right down to it it is no different than that newly-wed couple that wants to have their first child, but waits until they can afford it. Are you ever ready? Can you ever really afford children? Thankfully God has a way of slipping the puck past the goal post and they usually do end up pregnant.

My God is bigger than the god of money (Maman). This is just one more step in the faith walk God has put us on, will God provide. Look was Psalm 127 says:

Psalm 127

1 Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

I want the Lord to build my house! I want the Lord to watch over my city!

2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to [a] those he loves.

His promise to me is that he will grant sleep (peace and rest) to those he loves, He loves those who put their trust in him!

3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Wow, I never noticed this before, but look at the last sentence in verse 5, "when they contend with their enemies in the gate". This is a position of offence, not defense. I am to raise an army that will storm the gates of the enemy!

The promises continue in Psalm 128:

Psalm 128

1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways. 2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. 5 May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, 6 and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.
Thus sayeth the Lord!

All of this has made me look at my priorities and how I am spending my time and ask myself some hard questions.
I feel the spirit moving and I believe there is some breakthrough on the horizon. Peace!

Evolution Of Dance

2006-06-10T16:23:00.000-07:00

Bryan Adams - Feels So Wrong

2006-05-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I always scrutinize lyrics as I listen to the radio. There are many songs you hear that you just know are wrong, because they don't hide it. Bryan Adams is one that I think many people gloss over. He sings these wonderful love ballads that make us feel all lovey dovey, or he takes us back to our youth and our wilder days. I was a big fan in my teens and because he is Canadian you cannot help but hear at least two or three of his songs on the radio each day (thank you CRTC).

The more intently you listen to his lyrics, and strain them through your moral filter you start to hear the real ugliness that he is preaching. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be married to Byran Adams, I am assuming he is married. But how could any woman trust a man who writes lyrics like in this song:

Run To You

She says her love for me could never die
But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I

Oh - but her love is cold
It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, cause...

When it gets too much
I need to feel your touch

I'm gonna run to you

Bryan sings a lot about is what is right and wrong. He does in most cases know that what he is doing is "wrong" which is a start I guess, but this knowledge does not sway him as he chooses what feels right (usually sex), even though he knows it is wrong.

Here are some of the more extreme examples of that:

Cloud No 9

"well it's a long way up and we won't come down tonight
well it may be wrong but baby it sure feels right"

Run to you

"I'm gonna run to you
Cause when the feelin's right I'm gonna run all night
I'm gonna run to you"

Cuts like a knife

"Yeah! It cuts like a knife
Oh, but it feels so right"

The Best Of Me

"I may not always know what's right
But i know I want you here tonight"

There will never be another tonight

"There will never be another tonight
I don't care if it's wrong or right"

My goodness man!!! Can you sing about anything else??? These are just a few more blatent examples, most of his songs are littered with these same themes.

Just like a painting expresses the true heart of the painter we can only assume that these lyrics reflect the true heart of Bryan Adams. If this is the case I would guess that he has never known what true love is outside of satisfying his own lust.

My point here is not to slam any particular individual, but to encourage you to hear the heart of the artist and what he/she is really preaching. Some other individuals I can think of that have these same subtleties in their lyrics are Sarah McLaughlin and Jan Arden.

I don't recommend secular music in general, but it seems pretty hard to avoid at times.

My Buddy

2006-04-12T00:20:00.000-07:00

I have not had much time for any original thoughts as of late, but in my browsing of some of my old files I found the lyrics I typed out for a song I wanted to sing for my son on the day of his dedication. That was about four years ago, and of course I chickened out. But these lyrics mean so much. At least I can share it with you now.

To my buddy, Noah.

Halo - My Buddy

Pointing in endless directions, looking lost
as a pup
Reaching out for my hand, falling, then
getting up
Tugging on my trousers, crying for his way
My little boy is growing, he looked like me today
He looked like me today

CHORUS
My buddy sees me living, my buddy sees
me fall
My buddy is a mirror, hanging on the wall
My buddy sees me silent, my buddy
hears me talk
And my buddy will see Jesus, if in His life I
walk

Mocking all my motions, he learns how to
live
Walking in my footsteps, hearing advice I
give
Sometimes I sit and wonder, just where
with him I stand
A tear comes as I realize, his life is in my
hands
His life is in my hands

CHORUS

Now he’s growing older, as he kneels to
pray
He says “God bless all your children,”
and then I hear him say
He says “Jesus I love You, and for Your
love I’m glad
But there’s just one thing I want to be, is
just like my dad.”

CHORUS

Funny

2006-04-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

Good Bye

2006-03-27T10:00:00.000-08:00

Grandpa's funeral was this last Friday, I was the best funeral I have ever been to (as far as funerals' go). The theme of the funeral was "A Godly Heritage". My Uncle said it best when he said "if anybody didn't know the Lord before this funeral, they did by the time it was over". My Uncle, my Mom, myself and Noah all had the chance to tesify as to how our lives were changed because Grandpa brought Jesus to our family.

This is what Noah said:

Thank you for loving us and asking Jesus into your heart. I have Jesus in my heart because of you. You are so special to me. I love you. I am glad you will have lots of energy in heaven. And thank you for all the smarties.

The night before the funeral I was up untill 1AM trying to write what I wanted to say. Originally I was just going to read what I wrote in my "Tribute To A Goldy Man" blog, but something didn't feel right. I was constantly praying while trying to write my speech and honestly I was starting to get a little upset. When I finally gave up I had calmed down a bit, I stated by faith that God must have something else for me to say and went to bed.

The moment I layed down the following song came into my head:

I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me;
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea.
We heard the angels singing
Then someone called your name.
We turned and saw a young man running
And he was smiling as he came.

And he said, "Friend you may not know me now."
And then he said, "But wait,
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."

Then another man stood before you
And said, "Remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money,
But you gave it anyway.
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that's why I'm here today."

One by one they came
Far as the eye could see.
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity.
Little things that you had done,
Sacrifices made,
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven, now proclaimed.

And I know up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes.
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord.
He said, "My child, look around you.
Great is your reward."

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.

Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord.
I am so glad you gave.

This song called "Thank You" was written by Ray Boltz and seemed to sum up exactley what I wanted to say. So I read the lyrics. I made it up to the last verse that starts with "I know up in heaven you are not supposed to cry" and the tears started flowing.

I finished off my speech with the following:

This song really sums up what I wanted to say to pay tribute to one of the most special men in my life. I stand before you a rich man, as I have received and inheritance far greater than any material possession. My inheritance will not tarnish or fade, in fact it will last beyond the end of time.
My Grandpa forged a new path the day he gave his life to the Lord. By his decision he started a Godly heritage and gave the gift of eternal life through the saving grace of Jesus Christ to me and my children.

We had a lunch after the funeral and then just the immediate family went out to the gravesite. We sang "Great is thy faithfulness" and then lower his body into the ground. It could not have been more beautiful.

I hope that the day I pass from this world, that the things that were said of my Grandpa can be said about me. You know that really puts your life into perspective when you think about what would be said about you at your funeral if you died today. Would your memory be of someone who struggled through life or someone who lived every day for their Lord and savior.

Tribute To A Godly Man

2006-03-19T20:10:00.000-08:00

I would like to pay homage where homage is due, to a Godly man and loving Grandfather. This is my Grandpa, Ernest.

Ernest or Ernie as he was known to most was born in 1913 in Osler, SK. He grew up in a very large family with 3 brothers and two sisters.

He didn't grow up in a very good home, his father was a cruel man who was in constant bondage to alcoholism.

<- Ernie at top left and family

You will never read about my Grandpa in any news paper or history book, his memory will fade from this world with little notice.

He raised my Mom and her two brothers.

<- Bonnie, Rodney & Gerry

He will never be noted for accomplishing anything great in the eyes of the world. He made a meager living as a painter and for many years he struggled just to get by.

There were many things he didn't do in life and his contributions to society may seem small but in my life he was a giant. In fact he gave me the greatest thing anybody could have given me, eternal life.

My Grandpa was a very quiet man, to say that he was a man of few words is an understatement. It is not what he said, but what he did that made the difference.

Ernie found Jesus through a traveling evangelist and a tent revival meeting that came to his town when he was a young man. He wasn't sure why he felt called to the meeting but he knew something was missing in his life. He found it easy to give up smoking and drinking and never touched either again after that point.

I don't think he could have realized what he started when he asked Jesus into his life, nor the impact that it would have. It was that day that he started a Godly heritage.

Ernie constantly read God's word and for most of his life woke up to read his "Daily Bread" devotional and pray for wisdom to guide his family. He raised three kids and led them in daily devotions and prayer and they too came to the saving knowledge of Christ.

Ernie's children eventually got married and had kids, and they too have joined the spiritual heritage, which includes myself and my sister and cousins. And here I am, a man who's life has been changed because my Grandpa was obedient and listened to the calling Jesus.

At a time when I was lost and doubting everything in my life I had my Grandpa as my solid rock. Again it wasn't what he said, he never sat down and had a heart-heart with me, it was what he modeled. It was then that I decided that I wanted to be like my Grandpa.

<- Grandpa & Noah

I know that my Grandpa is going to have a huge place in the kingdom of God by what he started. Generation after generation his God loving descendants will reap the benefits.

I never knew my Grandpa to ever be in good health, but particularly for the last couple years he has been hampered by constant medical problems. He said many times that he wishes God would just take him home. Well this last Friday his health took a turn for the worse and as I write this blog he is slowly dying in a hospital bed.

Grandpa, be at peace, your work here is done. Go, be with Jesus and rest, good and faithful servant. Thank you for saving my life, I love you.

A New Season

2006-02-02T21:05:00.000-08:00

It sure is cool to see God's hand at work in your life. I finally got the job that I have been wanting for years. But it had to happen in God's order and His timing. When looking back I see that God led me down path "A" just to prepare me to go down path "B". Even though path "B" was where I wanted to go in the first place (If you don't understand what I mean, invite me out for coffee, I would love to share).

When your heart is submitted all paths lead to God.

So now we are facing a new season, and I don't think I will have much time for blogging. I will be working two jobs and basically 12 hours a day. It will be hard as most season changes are, but all in all this is good because we know God has been preparing us for this change.

I was challenged tonight as I had coffee with a good friend as to my career direction. I am basking in the glow of opportunity as many doors are being opened to me. It feels good to have opportunities come your way, it is building my confidence but possibly my ego too. Rather than keeping focused on pursuing one goal, I feel I am getting distracted and spreading my efforts too thin. I know that as the years go by my career direction may change but I still feel I should be keeping focused now.

Pregnant

2006-01-26T20:45:00.000-08:00

Guess who's expecting?!?!?!?

Places Of Fear

2006-01-24T20:00:00.000-08:00

Last week I had the awesome opportunity to have coffee with a brother that God has put on my heart for a while. We had a chance to talk and get to know each other better. While encouraging this brother God gave me a revelation that that has encouraged and challenged me.

Steve Masterson with Promise Keepers has been a major influence in my life, he has an incredible way of speaking truths about men and our roles by paralleling the physical and the spiritual. He tends to be quite blunt and does not get embarrassed easily and so in one of his analogies he compared the role of Christian men in society to the miracle of the creation of life but more particularly, sperm. As Christian men we are called to bring life just as the sperm brings life to the egg. Those sperm were created for one purpose, and that is to reach the egg. The sperm never tire in their pursuit as this is why they were given life. We were similarly created to reach God, to never tire as we reach toward the father bringing life to our places of work, our church and our families. We do this by allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through us and love those in our sphere of influence.

I would like to take this one step further and challenge us that God has also called us as men to have the courage to walk into the unknown and the places of hurt and fear in our lives and encourage those around us to do the same. God has not given us the spirit of fear, but all of us have some area or areas in our lives that we label as "untouchable" because it is just to hurtful to go there. These hurts can hold us back from the life of abundance that Jesus has given us.
In Matthew 5 Jesus speaks of the beatitudes and verse 9 states "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God". Wow!! Notice how Jesus says blessed are the peacemakers, not the peacekeepers. Semantics? I think not. The difference between a peacekeeper and a peacemaker is that the peacekeepers will smooth things over, do whatever it takes to keep the peace, even if the peace is false. Something I have been doing for far too long. You see the peacemaker boldly walks into a situation and brings the truth of the word and repentance and only then can we have the true peace of Christ (Col 3:15). Once we have walked our own roads of fear, we are then able to walk along side another and help them make those first steps.

So my area of fear has been in my finances. In my self-employment phase I created a debt that has for a long time looked far too overwhelming to tackle, so I ignored it hoping that if I pretended it wasn't there I would forget about it or it would go away. So for the last two years it has weighed down on my shoulders like a millstone around my neck, and has for the most part prevented me from looking at my family’s future with any kind of optimism.
The thought of owning a house has not been possible until the debt has been dealt with. I just couldn't go there. But little by little our finances have been looking better and better and so I sat down and made up a budget for my family, but still ignoring the debt. But the budget gave me the courage to go farther and as I looked at our expenses versus our income our financial picture didn't look so hopeless. So in a bold move I made an appointment for us to meet with a financial advisor, and we worked out a financial plan that is going help us start tackling this debt.

This has had a ripple effect and allowed me to confront some other issues in future that includes long term career plans. You cannot imagine how freeing this has been, and the new hope and confidence this has had on both Carebear and I. Things are definitely looking up and God is bringing more and more opportunity my way.

Very exciting times! Bless you!

Covenant Friendship

2006-01-15T16:30:00.000-08:00

Why would you have covenant friendship, that just sounds weird. Well it is different, but remember, the point the author is trying to make is that we move away from what we move away from the traditional male friendship into friendships with direction and purpose.
To have an acquaintance is nice. To have a friend is good. To have someone you can talk to about what’s on your heart is awesome but to be known and still loved and accepted, now that is divine.

So what is a covenant? A covenant is simply a formal sealed agreement or contract. The author and his two friends drafted the following covenant with eight promises to add purpose to their friendship:

1. To affirm one another
2.To be available to one another (in proper relation to commitments to marriage and family)
3.To pray with and for each other
4.To be open with each other
5.To relate to each other in honesty
6. To relate to each other in sensitivity
7. To relate to each other in confidentiality
8. To be accountable to each other

Within these eight promises is safety, security and the foundations for a purpose driven friendship.

How secure would you feel if your job was up for review at the end of every week? There is no certainty or expectations that a friend will be there forever, in fact friendships in their very nature are fluid. "A covenant provides the clarity and purpose that allows individuals to solidify relationships". The author and his friends chose something that provided both clarity and assurance regarding future expectations.

I have often thought about times when my wife and I were at odds, and how weak and alone I felt. In contrast though, there have been times that I have had to make a venture out into the unknown, into an area of risk and my wife has told me that she is behind me 100%. It has been those times of unity that I have felt incredible boldness and that I could take on the world. This is because my wife and I formed a covenant of marriage. I believe that this same confidence can come out of male friendships that are built in purpose. Just like a trumpeter leading the army into battle, I know my boys are behind me.

In 1 Samuel 18 we read about the story of Jonathan and David, I know that I have taken this story for granted and what it can show us about friendship. There is almost soap opera overtones in the story when you consider the huge social barriers that these two would have had to overcome. One is a poor Sheppard boy and the other the prince of all Israel. But when you throw in the fact that God promised David to be king, and not Jonathan, the rightful heir to the throne you just have to wonder how these two could have loved each other. But they did. in fact Jonathan saved David's life, probably more times than what were recorded in the bible. David and Jonathans souls became knit together and the two sealed a covenant by Jonathan presenting to David all of the symbols of his royal heritage, his robe, his sword, his bow, and his belt.
This friendship was preserved in spirit as it was too dangerous for the two to see each other as Jonathan's father, King Saul had become insanely jealous of David who had proved himself also a great warrior in battle.
This story of friendship doesn't even end when Jonathan dies on the battlefield along with his father as David takes in Jonathan's only surviving offspring and loved him as if he were his own son. WOW!

The Company You Keep

2006-01-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

When Sarah and I were at the local Christian book store buying Christmas presents I stumbled across a book that really peaked my interest. The title is "The Company You Keep" by David Bentall. The title in itself didn't really catch me as much as the subtitle "The Transforming Power Of Male Friendships".

So I have decided that for the next while my blog is going to be like an online book report if you will. I have come to realize that if I write down important points when reading my ability to retain what I have learned increases substantially. So this is as much for me as it is for you.

Men often choose friends the way they select shows on television—by incessantly clicking the remote until something appears that catches their interest for a moment.We just start getting together and with the frequency of our getting together we eventually get past all the formalities and if we are lucky an intimate relationship is formed.

In contrast, relationships of substance require thoughtful consideration, a deliberate effort and a paradigm shift in thinking about friendship. The author challenges the traditional ideas about men's friendships before encouraging men to wholeheartedly pursue the power and potential that is available from intentional friendship. Unfortunately not many men are lucky enough to have intimate relationships with other men. Many of us had friends growing up, but as we reached adulthood the value that we put on friendships somehow dimished. Much of this has to do with our inability to vulnerable.

Have you ever considered who will faithfully stand with you until the end of your life? Who will support you through losses, career crises, marriage problems, or illness? Apart from family members, who encourages you in hard times and celebrates you when you succeed?

Sadly, most men offer uncertain answers, at best. In fact, the author has found that many have never thought about actively building friendships with other men, let alone ones that will offer affirmation, motivation or unconditional love and support through the many seasons of life.

In this book the author challenges us to a new kind of friendship. One that actually has forethought and strategy to it. We don't leave meeting to chance, we actively seek finding a friend who will ultimately help us become a better man. That is, to deliberately select, pursue and build friendships with those who are willing to be honest with you, to nurture you, to motivate you and to hold you accountable in areas of life that require change.

Stained Glass Masquerade

2006-01-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

I grabbed this album after it was recommended by In Search Of Truth, it is a very cool album. I am working on a drama that could be done to the song.

Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Chorus

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Beyond Survival

2006-01-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

Thank goodness the holidays are almost over. Christmas has come and gone like a tsunami left in its wake much damage. Okay it hasn't been that bad, mostly just stress from going from here to there, some extra pounds around my mid section, selfish kids and an empty bank account. It is amazing how our lives get turned upsidedown during this season.

ENTER SURVIVAL MODE

The dictionary defines survival as "a state of surviving; remaining alive". I don't know about you but this doesn't sound very fun to me. So much for this abundant "Christian" life.

ENTER THE LESSON

God has been speaking to me about rising above what is going on around me. When the pressures at work are pushing me to and fro, rise above. When that angry customer comes in and tears a strip out of me, rise above. When the world is pressuring me with the stresses of Christmas, rise above. This is the beautiful thing about the Christian life is that we have the choice of being a part of the world system or separating ourselves and living on the plain of existence that God has called us to live on. The word says in (Eph 6:12) "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." If that is not a different plain of existance, I don't know what is.

I have realized as well that the enemy has me right where he wants me when I am in survival mode as I get horribly selfish. I am grasping for every crumb just to make it through the day. Just like two people drowning in the middle of a lake, they will grasp onto whatever they think will hold them up and drown each other. All of a sudden my focus goes back to my own two feet and my own needs and I start to forget what’s really important. I start to complain about my current situation, my job, the people, I stop serving my family and my church and I get just plain old grumpy.

ENTER THE REALIZATION

God can use me in even when I am in survival mode, because he is God, but I am certainly not modeling a Christian life that would be desirable to the world. So what is the opposite of survival? Thriving. The definition of thriving is " To grow vigorously; flourish". It is not hard to know when am in a state of thriving, the fruit is all around me and my focus is on things that are eternal.

Okay now I know I am in survival mode, I need to get into thrive mode, how do I get there? Well I need purpose. Purpose is the vehicle that is going to drive me out of this desert land of starvation and death into the land of plenty, the promised land. So what is my purpose? Well Carebear and I went out on a date and we decided to take some time to jot down what we know our purposes are. Here are a couple of the things I came up with.

My purpose is to:

make disciples
to be a loving husband and father
to worship my God
to serve my family
to share Jesus with those who I come in contact with
to understand and seek God's destiny for my life

The discipleship wheel puts it into three main categories, to love God, one another and the world. The pillars of this are truth, repentance and faith.

This Christmas I failed, I succumbed to the pressures around me and went into survival mode. But when I move into the land of "thrive" and leave survival I take on a new title, I am a survivor, one who has been been pushed to the limit and come out on the other side.

Remembering 1986

2006-01-01T20:07:00.000-08:00

You know you are old if you remember these events from 20 years ago!!!!

The space shuttle Challenger explodes shortly after launch killing all astronauts aboard

In the Soviet Union the Chernobyl nuclear power reactor explodes, thousands are exposed to lethal amounts of radiation
The movies "Ferris Beuller's Day Off", "Labyrinth" & "Short Circuit" hit theaters

We were watching our favorite cartoons like Teddy Ruxpin, Duck Tales, GI Joe, Inspector Gadget and of course Transformers
Top selling albums were Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins (Top Gun), Stuck With You by Huey Lewis & The News and Walk Like An Egyptian by the Bangles all on tape cassette
The original Nintendo hits the market
Our favorite sitcoms were The Cosby Show, Cheers, Family Ties and Night Court

Everybody's talking about Haley's comet

I thought some of these equivalents were kinda cool, see what you can come up with

"E-mail" = "Sticky Notes" (non-personal communication)
"N Sync" = "New Kids on the Block"
"Coke C2" = "Pepsi Free"
"SUVs and Minivans" = "Stationwagons"
"Walmart" = "Consumers Distributing" or "Sears"
"Japanese Street Racers" = "American Muscle Cars"
"The Taco Bell Chihuahua" = "Spuds McKenzie"
"XBox 360" = "Atari 2600"

"Joan Of Arcadia" = "Highway to Heaven"
"Simpsons" = "Flintstones"
"Ipod" = "Walkman"
"Rugrats" = "Muppet babies"
"Gotees" = "Stubble"
"Vote For Pedro" = "Save Ferris"

Work Schedule & Mens Retreat

2005-12-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

What an adjustment this Christmas is going to be. I am used to having a week or more off during the Christmas season but that isn’t happening this year. I know I get Christmas day off, and New Years day but that is all, other than my regular two days off out of seven.

I guess God knew what He was doing because we have been released from all family activities which is super strange. Typically we are running from here to there having to go to six different places. This year we are going to go to church and then come home and relax.

I was tested a bit this week as another job opportunity arose. Options are good and I looked into it but it really seems that God has me where He wants me. I have had the chance to share the gospel with a couple co-workers and the other night I got to share my testimony. He is definitely strengthening my boldness and bringing people into my path. Exciting stuff.

The picture you see here is something I whipped up for the upcoming men’s retreat. For anybody interested we will be having our retreat this February 24-26 at Camp Oshkidee, this year we are opening it up to any man who wants to join us. Each year God has been calling us closer and closer to each other and to Him, this year will be no different. I am expecting God to do some amazing stuff in the live of us men. In my archives I have described what happened to me at the last men’s retreat, you can find that here.
Little did I know at that time what a difference receiving to Holy Spirit would make in my life and my day to day walk. I will be writting more on it as we come closer to that date.