Although I don't want to admit it I have built a ring around me that keeps me in me. Confused yet? It really isn't that complicated or maybe it is.
I remember some teaching I heard a while ago by a man I really respect. One of the things he spoke of is how we as Christians make our lives so complicated so we can justify not reaching out. Our lives have become a lot more complicated recently, pregnancy, job situation, funding requests, house purchasing, mortgage, renovations, the list goes on and on. And you know what? These are the same things that are continually on my mind. To the point that I just don't have any thought space for anything else.
Am I fulfilling my mandate to go out and make disciples? Am I serving my Church? Am I reaching out to those God has brought into my life? No!!! Who has time for any of that stuff? Do you know what I have on my plate?
Am I making my life complicated? Well no, not really, these are just the things God has given us to deal with. But the choices as to how I deal with them are mine. I think that is what is making me the most frustrated with these situations is that there are other people making these decisions for us. Will we get a grant for a van, can we buy our house, will we get a mortgage? Notice that I am completely powerless in all these situations? So why do I put it on my shoulders. Somehow I think I can think my way through, but really I have to lay them down.
I can remember how envious I one was of the farmers. I know, not many people envy farmers but I can remember thinking about how much faith a farmer must have compared to the rest of us. They put their crop in the ground and the rest is up to God. Is there going to be rain, frost maybe drought? They never know, but those situations are out of their control. That’s faith!
I told this to a friend once and he said how is your life any different? The only difference is the commodity. A farmer may but wheat in the ground hoping to reap a harvest; you may put extra effort into your job in hopes of reaping a promotion. Neither situation is more "holy" or "spiritual" than the other, only the illusion of control over the situation. It would be silly to think that a farmer could do anything to make his crop grow faster or better, he realizes he is not in control. He is still going to fertilize and spray for weeds, but those are just the things he needs to do.
The other side effect of thinking you have control over a situation is that you start to think you deserve it. I know my heart needs a check up immediately if I start thinking I deserve something.
Well I am glad I sat down to write about this, things are a lot clearer now, I would appreciate some prayer that I would be able to lay these things down. Thanks for reading.
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4 comments:
I'm only commenting becuase I feel bad that you never get any comments :(
it was a very good post, and I agree with you...which I've told you in person anyway, so why am I even commenting when I could just get off the computer and walk to our room and talk to you....
k, this is silly, i'm going to talk to you right now.
your wife convicted me to come here and read this, so glad I did.
I am totally where you're at. I understand what you mean, totally. We're too entering into a new season of complete and utter busyness. I think it's important to remember that God gives us seasons, and that we will look and act differently in different seasons. In times of busyness, God is still moving in and through you, it just looks different then it did when you had all the time in the world on your hands. He's building a new foundation in your lives, and that foundation is vital to continue His works and plans in your life.
I know what you mean though, laying things down....it's a toughy for me. It seems that God always puts those same senarios in my path, where I'm completely out of control, and have no choice but to submit and lay it down. (I kick and scream first usually, unfortunately)
blessings as you walk this road out, it's neat to be able to watch, and walk it with you guys.
There was a reason why Jesus used so many analogies about farming and growing in the bible. It is SO obvious, and timeless. You get to do the same thing except that it is not obvious to you. And you do not always get to see the harvest.
I always enjoy reading your posts, and it did get me thinking. We all get preoccupied with our day to day struggles...some days more than others!!!
Have a great day!
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