Saturday, March 31, 2007


Just me and the 3 oldest kids this weekend as Sarah is off on our Church ladies retreat.
We started off the morning with me sleeping in and missing Isaiah's ballet and crepes.
It is currently 2pm and I am in a wet towel just having gotten out of the shower and procrastinating on starting my day. The house is alright so far, almost got it cleaned the day before Sarah left and I have been able to maintain it.

Time to get my but in gear.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Technology, GRRRR!

Almost finished The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 3, but I decided to start playing around with a Hauppauge TV tuner card that I acquired so I could start using the puter as a PVR and got a little distracted.

Yes that it right, we got cable. We took the plunge and switched all our services to Shaw, including telephone, bye bye Sasktel. Basic cable was part of the package.

I hate channel surfing, and whenever I watch TV that seems to be all I do. The solution? PVR! (Personal Video Recorder - basically turn your PC into a VCR, for the lay people). Well I managed to get the cable piped in, but getting the interactive menu downloaded so I could search for programs was a pain in the you know what. But eventually I even got that working.

Okay now for part two, because I do not plan on watching TV on my puter, I need to somehow get it to the TV\DVD player. Only option is to burn it to DVD.

Disk 1 - 5 kids shows, the process completes flawlessly. Put it in DVD player, interactive menus show up with content (very cool). First program works great, but the next four get glitchier and glitchier until they won't even play, grrrr.

Disk 2 - CSI and a couple episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Disk fails during burning process (after 30 minutes of preparation time).

Disk 3 - Same content, but burning them in the raw div x format as my DVD player can read div x. Works great, but can't fast forward through the commercials without it skipping back to the beginning of the file. Too frustrating, turned it off and went to paint the bathroom, literally.

Once I get my big screen plasma, all my problems will be solved as I can hook up the computer directly to it and just play off the HD without the frustration of burning DVD's.This is an artists rendering of what I am hoping for

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 2

Previous post "The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 1"

The Ladies Retreat

There were many things brewing under the surface with a resistance to the moving of the Holy Spirit and those who were embracing it. Including between the pastor and the board. We were new Christians but we knew that the encounters that we had had with the Spirit were unlike anything we had ever experienced before and it was drawing us into deeper relationship with God and one another. Could such a thing be wrong?

Well the Pastor had had enough battling it out with the board. He announced his resignation and we were in shock. There were many times that we had had them over to our house and that they had had us over to their house. The fact that he married us and was with us through Caleb's birth meant that we felt like we were losing our own dad. We were very sad and his leaving added to our spiritual confusion.

It wasn't long before the church had a new pastor, one who was certified non-charismatic by the board. As much as this was seen as a victory for the church board, there were many of us who were getting together and having times of prayer and worship in small groups and the spirit was alive as ever.

The new pastor was just starting to get settled in before the womens retreat, I am sure he had no idea as to what was going to take place.

The retreat was mainly planned by a group of women from the church headed up by the church secretary, Laura. Laura was one of our good friends that was very excited about the moving of the Spirit in the church. The retreat took place at Cedar Lodge and guest speaker was brought in from another church. I was so happy that Sarah would get a chance to go on this ladies retreat and build relationship with other women in the church.

I have trouble remembering why, but at the last minute Sarah was not able to go. We now know that God was protecting her from what was to happen there, but at the time we were very confused.

This is what we later heard happened at the retreat:

The ladies arrived on a Friday night, they found out that the original speaker for the retreat had come down ill, but that Cedar Lodge had found somebody else to fill in, a charismatic. The evening service was very intimate and many ladies were touched for the first time by the spirit, some were not. The next day there was a healing and deliverance time in which again there were moves of the spirit that many had never seen, many tears and laughter.

But one person was very scared by what was going on and called the head of the church board. She immediately got in her car and drove out to Cedar Lodge. When she walked in the doors at the Lodge, many described it as though Satan himself had walked in the door. She proclaimed that "this stuff" does not happen in our church and this retreat is over!

The fall out of that action was far reaching. There was much confusion for the women that had been there and experienced something wonderful, and new. The situation was exacerbated when the following Sunday our new pastor officially apologized for what had happened at the retreat. The apology was more of an insult than anything.

That was the last straw for many of our close friends, little by little they left to various different churches throughout the city in search of this new move of God. I am not sure why we didn't leave with them, but for the next couple months we stayed even though it was very lonely.

We eventually did leave, there was really nothing to keep us there and the search for a new home began. We found out that a couple months after we left that the new pastor had resigned. A couple years later we ran into some old friends that still attended and they told us that the last couple with kids had just left the church. I still grieve for that church.

One last and very strange event in relation to that church happened about four years ago, when the head board member (the one that was described as Satan himself at the retreat) died tragically in a house fire.

The long and lonely search begins.

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Search For Spiritual Family - Part 1

I will warn you now, my next couple of posts are going to be long. I consider my spiritual journey "on the mend" and as I have these six weeks of paternity leave God is calling me to go back to what he has done in my life and record these events as a part of my healing process.

I grew up in a very large church, and because of my age and lack of understanding I never knew the church to be any thing other than a place my family went to on Sunday mornings. I got to see my Grandma and Grandpa, and Uncle and Aunt but other than immediate family there were no close relationships there.

Later on I got involved with the youth group, the friendships I made there were very surface and often times I would end up bringing my own friends with me to youth group so that I had somebody to hand around with.

I decided to leave the church when I was old enough to make those decisions and never looked back. There was no relationships to keep me there, I doubt anybody noticed I left.

Later on I saw my need for God in my life and I started searching for him. At the time I was going through a 10-step group and I knew who my higher power was, but I knew there was more.

My last semester in High School I moved out on my own in a basement suite of a Christian couple's home. The were very nice people and in telling them of my spiritual journey they invited me to their church. I was very hesitant at first and refused but one week later decided to join them. Ironically it was a baptism Sunday at the church. The testimonies quickly moved me to tears and I knew this was what I was looking for. After the service I approached the pastor and told him I wanted to be baptized, the next week I was.

So I started attending, Sarah started to come with me soon after that.

We had struggled with premarital sex previous to my baptism, and though we tried to abstain after my baptism, it continued. And now we had guilt. We talked to the pastor and asked for help. His counsel was blunt, if you love each other and want to be with each other and can't stop having sex, get married!

Shortly there after we found out Sarah was pregnant and I proposed. We got married in that church, there we many people that helped in our wedding that attended the church who didn't know us, but loved us none the less. Three months later Caleb was born with all of his difficulties and the church was there for us again, both financially and spiritually. There were a number of couples that took us under their wings and discipled us (even though at the time we did not know of discipleship).

Through all of this there were many changes happening in the church, the worship started to get more intense, people started raising their hands and we experienced for the first time the Holy Spirit. It was and amazing time and we were blown away. But under the surface there were some people who saw these changes as very threatening, and most of all ungodly. There was a spiritual battle happening right under our noses. Many of the battles happened between our pastor and the church board.

The people that were resisting the move of the spirit in our church were not evil people, they did not know any better and were scared of the unknown. At the time we did not have relationship with many of these people and could not understand their actions, but we do now.

Everything came to a head at the ladies retreat.

Just One More

I didn't have any pictures of Mommy and baby, so here is one.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Previous post "The Perfect Church"

Postpartum Family Pictures

Look at me, open eyes!

Do I have to kiss that?

I'm still a baby too, right?

Big brother cuddles

Okay, not my best picture, but still cute

Best sisters

Pictures for my new baby sister

Bearded Daddy and me

The Perfect Church

I think that I shall never see
A Church that's all it ought to be;

A Church that has no empty pews,
Whose Pastor never has the blues;

A Church whose Deacons always Deke
And none is proud but all are meek;

Where gossips never peddle lies
Or make complaints or criticize;

Where all are always sweet and kind
And all to other's faults are blind.

Such perfect churches there may be,
But none of them are known to me.

But still we'll work, and pray and plan
To make our Church the best we can!

This poem reminds me of the teaching we had when we were going through a study called Transformations at our church. In the study we talked about how people criticize the church about how imperfect it is, and that is their claim that is why they do not believe God is in the church.

What we don't realize is that it is the fact that the church is so imperfect, that shows that God is in the church.

Without God's love for one another in the church, the church would cease to exist. It is only the love that Christ put in our hearts for him, and hence for one another that we can coexist as family. Jesus is the oil in the engine if you will, that lubricates the friction.

So even though I may not like the way Bob constantly yells "Amen" during the service, or Joanne's frantic dancing seems out of place. I can still love the Jesus that is within them.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Thank you

I am thankful for my Pastor, Terry Froese. He has been leading me and my family for nearly 7 years now, and the more I get to know him, the more I am so thankful that I have him in my life.
He loves his church, and has done everything he can to correct, and guide our body towards a closer, intimate relationship with Jesus. His gentle, yet direct correction has always been what I needed, though at the time may have stung a little.
I have not had a deep intimate relationship with him, there were proper boundaries that were set in place when we first started attending our church. None the less I know that he is for me, and that he leads me the way that a Shepard leads his flock.
Terry was there for me and my family when Caleb passed away. He stepped in and helped us make funeral decisions and most importantly prayed for us and taught us valuable information about what grief is and what we would be facing ahead.
He has had to take some time off for himself to heal and renew, and I miss my spiritual father. But I know that when the timing is right, and Jesus has done the work on him that he needs, he will return with an new and even greater anointing.

Rest Good Shepard,
Love Your Flock

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