Grieving is strange, it don't really understand it. The week after Caleb passed I was doing well, I was okay with what happened and generally happy that Caleb had been released from his broken body into his new heavenly body. Life carried on and I went back to work. Since then I have hurt more than ever. My grief is taking the form of anger inside me. I am not outright mad at anybody or even God, I am just mad. It doesn't seem fair that life should just go on, my son just died. Because I don't like anger I tend to just numb out and numbness is not good for me or anybody around me.
Today was one of the first days that I felt a little normal. I am embarking on a new project at work, my family is finally recovering from the sickness that swept through, and I see a need to commune with God which I have been generally avoiding for the last while. Please pray for us and we figure out what normal is and try and get back to a routine.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
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