Grieving is strange, it don't really understand it. The week after Caleb passed I was doing well, I was okay with what happened and generally happy that Caleb had been released from his broken body into his new heavenly body. Life carried on and I went back to work. Since then I have hurt more than ever. My grief is taking the form of anger inside me. I am not outright mad at anybody or even God, I am just mad. It doesn't seem fair that life should just go on, my son just died. Because I don't like anger I tend to just numb out and numbness is not good for me or anybody around me.
Today was one of the first days that I felt a little normal. I am embarking on a new project at work, my family is finally recovering from the sickness that swept through, and I see a need to commune with God which I have been generally avoiding for the last while. Please pray for us and we figure out what normal is and try and get back to a routine.
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4 comments:
my prayers are with you and your family......grief is a strange thing but I know that God will show you amazing things on this journey you are on...
Blessings
While I can relate to your feelings of anger, and your general avoidance of your communion with God, I still can not come close to imagining what you must be going through.
This next year is going to be hard, just know what we're all here to walk it with you, every step of the way. Whatever you need, we're a stones throw away.
thanks nin....obviously you were close enough to catch our herpes virus!
through the phone man! thats what two hours straight everyday will do.
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