The Company You Keep

When Sarah and I were at the local Christian book store buying Christmas presents I stumbled across a book that really peaked my interest. The title is "The Company You Keep" by David Bentall. The title in itself didn't really catch me as much as the subtitle "The Transforming Power Of Male Friendships".

So I have decided that for the next while my blog is going to be like an online book report if you will. I have come to realize that if I write down important points when reading my ability to retain what I have learned increases substantially. So this is as much for me as it is for you.

Men often choose friends the way they select shows on television—by incessantly clicking the remote until something appears that catches their interest for a moment.We just start getting together and with the frequency of our getting together we eventually get past all the formalities and if we are lucky an intimate relationship is formed.

In contrast, relationships of substance require thoughtful consideration, a deliberate effort and a paradigm shift in thinking about friendship. The author challenges the traditional ideas about men's friendships before encouraging men to wholeheartedly pursue the power and potential that is available from intentional friendship. Unfortunately not many men are lucky enough to have intimate relationships with other men. Many of us had friends growing up, but as we reached adulthood the value that we put on friendships somehow dimished. Much of this has to do with our inability to vulnerable.

Have you ever considered who will faithfully stand with you until the end of your life? Who will support you through losses, career crises, marriage problems, or illness? Apart from family members, who encourages you in hard times and celebrates you when you succeed?

Sadly, most men offer uncertain answers, at best. In fact, the author has found that many have never thought about actively building friendships with other men, let alone ones that will offer affirmation, motivation or unconditional love and support through the many seasons of life.

In this book the author challenges us to a new kind of friendship. One that actually has forethought and strategy to it. We don't leave meeting to chance, we actively seek finding a friend who will ultimately help us become a better man. That is, to deliberately select, pursue and build friendships with those who are willing to be honest with you, to nurture you, to motivate you and to hold you accountable in areas of life that require change.