Sunday, January 15, 2006

Covenant Friendship

Why would you have covenant friendship, that just sounds weird. Well it is different, but remember, the point the author is trying to make is that we move away from what we move away from the traditional male friendship into friendships with direction and purpose.
To have an acquaintance is nice. To have a friend is good. To have someone you can talk to about what’s on your heart is awesome but to be known and still loved and accepted, now that is divine.

So what is a covenant? A covenant is simply a formal sealed agreement or contract. The author and his two friends drafted the following covenant with eight promises to add purpose to their friendship:

1. To affirm one another
2.To be available to one another (in proper relation to commitments to marriage and family)
3.To pray with and for each other
4.To be open with each other
5.To relate to each other in honesty
6. To relate to each other in sensitivity
7. To relate to each other in confidentiality
8. To be accountable to each other

Within these eight promises is safety, security and the foundations for a purpose driven friendship.

How secure would you feel if your job was up for review at the end of every week? There is no certainty or expectations that a friend will be there forever, in fact friendships in their very nature are fluid. "A covenant provides the clarity and purpose that allows individuals to solidify relationships". The author and his friends chose something that provided both clarity and assurance regarding future expectations.

I have often thought about times when my wife and I were at odds, and how weak and alone I felt. In contrast though, there have been times that I have had to make a venture out into the unknown, into an area of risk and my wife has told me that she is behind me 100%. It has been those times of unity that I have felt incredible boldness and that I could take on the world. This is because my wife and I formed a covenant of marriage. I believe that this same confidence can come out of male friendships that are built in purpose. Just like a trumpeter leading the army into battle, I know my boys are behind me.

In 1 Samuel 18 we read about the story of Jonathan and David, I know that I have taken this story for granted and what it can show us about friendship. There is almost soap opera overtones in the story when you consider the huge social barriers that these two would have had to overcome. One is a poor Sheppard boy and the other the prince of all Israel. But when you throw in the fact that God promised David to be king, and not Jonathan, the rightful heir to the throne you just have to wonder how these two could have loved each other. But they did. in fact Jonathan saved David's life, probably more times than what were recorded in the bible. David and Jonathans souls became knit together and the two sealed a covenant by Jonathan presenting to David all of the symbols of his royal heritage, his robe, his sword, his bow, and his belt.
This friendship was preserved in spirit as it was too dangerous for the two to see each other as Jonathan's father, King Saul had become insanely jealous of David who had proved himself also a great warrior in battle.
This story of friendship doesn't even end when Jonathan dies on the battlefield along with his father as David takes in Jonathan's only surviving offspring and loved him as if he were his own son. WOW!

3 comments:

Trail Rider said...

Hey, just a question....
isn't a contract and a covenant totally different.
I rememeber learning that in Henry's marriage class.
A contract can be broken, but not a covenant....
I love your heart.

CWG said...

Brotherly love is amazing when we put it into perspective. I believe that God gave David and Jonathon a gift that not all men get to experience. However all men have the priveledge of knowing that another brother has his back. It is so powerful to step into ministry or into new territory when you know that you have brothers that are walking beside you. It is so powerful. As men walk side by side and support each other, it gives us the courage and strength to go inot scary territories....our families. Love our wives and train our kids. It excited the heck out of me to think about that type of union between men. Too many of us men have become milktoasts. (soggy toast)then we are good for not too much. God has a plan for the unity of men. You are right on that we need this...We desperately need this.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am Rose Mitchell author of the book Covenant Friendship. It is my story of how God answered my prayer for friendship. I can relate to what you are saying and I am impressed with your 8 points of the friendship. We can indeed have intense, personal, God centered relationships that glorify Him because when we seek Him as the foundation He honors us and it is only then that these relationships can survive. Visit covenantfriendship.com.

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